Abigail Adams

We were watching Part 3 of the John Adams miniseries. That man was gone a LOT. During the part where John leaves with their oldest son to go to Europe during the Revolutionary War (leaving Abigail home on the farm with the rest of their brood), I commented that she was a strong woman. Stretch chimed in with, "and grumpy, apparently." To which I could only reply, "She had every right to be grumpy!"

Reverse deployment

This summer, the kids and I have spent a lot of time away from home. In fact, we’re hitting the road again tomorrow morning. For the first time, Stretch has been the one left at home. And he doesn’t much like it. During one phone call, after he told me how much he missed us, he paused and said, “Somehow, I get the feeling that, strangely, you are unmoved.” (It’s a favorite line from a Pride & Prejudice adaptation that we often use on the kids.)

I DID miss him. Let’s get that straight first. But after a year-long deployment, a couple of weeks seems like a snap!

Then, I told him to think of it as a reverse deployment.

Eleven years and counting

Stretch is out in the field training with Marines. I'm finally at home, after a month on the road. My friend and her 3 kids arrived yesterday afternoon, so I'm listening to kids playing and waiting for breakfast to come out of the oven.

Just a typical Saturday morning. And Stretch's and my anniversary. Once again, we'll be spending it apart. But at least we're in the same state!

Eleven years and two kids later, it still feels like we've only just started this adventure. Happy anniversary, Stretch. As much time as we spend apart, I can't imagine my life without you in it. You are still the man of my dreams, the love of my life.

Independence Day

For many, the 4th of July evokes images of cook-outs, parades, and fireworks: all to be enjoyed with family and the larger community. Some of my best 4th of July memories come from celebrations on military bases. There's just something about the William Tell overture accompanied by howitzers that just says "Happy Independence Day!" like nothing else.

This year, the 4th of July found Stretch and me in different states. Which is so much better than different continents. The kids and I are still on our extended summer migration and arrived at fellow milspouse and blogger Jody's home on the 3rd. That same day, Stretch was leaving our home to travel to Camp Lejeune so he could meet a group of Marines returning from Iraq on the 4th.

It didn't seem too odd to me to be apart for the 4th of July. (Yes, I still missed him.) He was doing something he felt he should do (and I agree that someone from the unit should be there to meet the Marines.) Jody and I took the kids to a small town parade and to see fireworks. It might be the first parade I'd ever gone to that didn't have a military presence. We all had fun and the kids especially enjoyed it because they gathered about 5 pounds of candy at the parade. Jody and I were just enjoying being able to hang out together because it has probably been almost 5 years since we last saw each other.

Part of the reason it didn't seem strange to be apart is the fact that we really haven't spent too many Foruths of July together. Last year, Stretch was working. The year before, he was in Iraq. We'd probably been married 3 or 4 years before we were able to spend this particular holiday with each other. The first time we actually had the day to spend together, we were a little lost as to what we should do. I guess it's inadvertently become our tradition to spend Independence day independently of each other.

This is one tradition we don't need to keep though.

summer "deployment"

On Father's Day, we redeployed Stretch back home. He had to go back to work so he flew back by himself. Frankly, I'm surprised he took a week off. But I was so happy he was able to help with the drive out here. Three days in the car was a long ride!

The girls and I remain "deployed" to my mother's house for the next week. Then we will slowly meander our way across the country back to our house, stopping to visit family and friends. Of course, when we arrive back home, Stretch will probably be out in the field for a week. *sigh*

Ahh...you were gypsies, too?!

Last night, Stretch and I attended a charity event we'd been invited to by friends from church. Among their other guests were a retired Army couple. While they were obviously older than us and their children were grown with children of their own, we found ourselves drawn back to this couple repeatedly throughout the night. Of everyone there, we had the most in common with them. As I talked to them of places they'd lived, we kept finding common ground...literally. As an Army brat and later an intern, I'd spent time in Germany where they lived while their children were young, including one town where we'd both lived. They spent a number of years at Fort Sill, a place Stretch and I are both familiar with. Between frequent moves, frustrations with different schools, and just the lifestyle in general, we found we had much in common. Maybe it was because we've been away from other military families for so long, but just being able to talk to someone who understood things without explanation was absolutely wonderful and probably the best part of the evening. It was like being able to speak in our native tongue again after struggling with the local language.

Go-To Gal

Stretch discovered he needed new tires several months ago. Like back in February. Left to his own devices, he was always too busy to do anything about it. Or something like that. Finally, I'd had enough and Friday morning I told him to take my car and leave his. L'il Sis and I ended up at a tire store for around 2 hours during a driving rainstorm. She was pretty good for the first hour but the 2nd hour tried us both. Finally, the tires were mounted, balanced and aligned.

And I can't help wondering what he would do if he weren't married? Actually, if that had been the case, the new tires would probably have been put on back in February...
*humph*

Ms. Fix-it

As a military spouse, I understand that I'm often the go-to person at home. I'm usually the one to either fix things or to get it done by someone else (not Stretch usually). But when Stretch is home, I have an irrational belief that he should step up and do some of those projects. After all, his father taught shop at one point and is often working on something around the house. This gene must have completely bypassed Stretch, though.

For weeks, we've had a leak that has gotten worse around our water filter attached to our kitchen faucet. I've pointed it out numerous times. Twice, Stretch took a cursory look and basically shrugged before walking off and doing nothing.

I finally had enough and while Stretch was off on a short trip this week, I bought another filter system and replaced the leaking one. There might have been another (cheaper) fix, but it's done and no longer bothering me.

If I manage not to say anything about it, I wonder if he'll even notice?
Update: He noticed, but it probably had something to do with the fact that the new filter wasn't exactly the same as the old one.

woot!

It's November and Stretch finally got home yesterday... in one piece, so no need to find any of his insurance policies. My days of single-parenthood are over... for now, anyway!

So, those gremlins can just go somewhere else!

catching up

Wow, it seems I have some catching up to do. Last week was L'il Sis first real week of preschool here. The week before she was only in the classroom for an hour and a half without me while I attended a parents' meeting. But last Tuesday she attended preschool and Lunch Bunch. So this picture is from her first real day.

Last weekend, we decided to take a trip to the Space Coast. We went

to Kennedy Space Center on Saturday. Although it was a bit warm, it was a great day for it.

There weren't too

many people there so there were no long lines for anything. It's

hard to see in the picture, but there was a space shuttle on one of the launch pads, prepared for a mission scheduled in a few weeks.

Stretch rounded off the weekend by giving me a belated anniversary gift: an Atta Girl! bracelet! I'm wearing it as I type. I'm not a huge jewelry person (I'm definitely accessory-challenged!) but I like the bracelet for a couple of reasons. It is unique. It tells a story. And I love the thought that went into it. It is more than a piece of jewelry. It has meaning behind it, reminding me that Stretch really does appreciate me and what I do.

UPDATE: Someone asked what an Atta Girl! is. So here is my attempt at an explanation. Our service members receive various awards during the course of their service. Often these awards take the form of ribbons that are worn on dress uniforms. Atta Girl! charms use crystals on Italian charms to approximate the look of ribbons and are meant to represent different achievements of family members of service members.

My Atta Girl! bracelet tells my particular story: I'm a military wife, specifically a Marine wife. My husband awarded me both a hazardous duty and a deployment Atta Girl! (both with one star) for surviving his 2 deployments to Iraq with small children, the second one being a year long. I also wear a PCS charm with 5 stars and an overseas duty charm.

Military wives

A friend sent this to me but I have no idea who wrote this. One of the comments in the email was "We must be nuts!" Well, yeah. It is particularly apt that my friend sent this to me now, at a time when I needed a reminder to pull up my big girl pants and drive on. The bold and italics are my own emphasis.

What is a MILITARY Wife?

They may look different and each is wonderfully unique
But this they have in common.
They have THIS IN COMMON!

lots of moving---
moving
moving
moving far from home
moving two cars, three kids and one dog----all riding with HER of course
moving sofas to basements because they won't go in THIS house
moving curtains that won't fit
moving jobs and certifications and professional development hours
moving away from friends moving toward new friends
moving her most important luggage; her trunk full of memories

often waiting-
waiting, waiting, waiting for housing; waiting for orders; waiting
for deployment; waiting for reunion; waiting for phones calls;
waiting for the new curtains to arrive; waiting for him to come home for dinner----AGAIN!

They call her 'military dependent', but she knows better
she can balance a checkbook
handle the yard work
fix a noisy toilet.
She is intimately familiar with drywall, anchors, and toggle bolts.
She can file the taxes, sell a house, buy a car, or set up a move, --
--all with ONE Power of Attorney.

She welcomes neighbors that don't welcome her.
Reinvents her career with every PCS; locates a house in the desert,
the arctic, or the deep south and learns to call them all 'home'.
She MAKES them all home.

She is fiercely IN-dependent

Military Wives are somewhat hasty
They leap into decorating, leadership, volunteering, career alternatives,
churches and friendships.
They don't have 15 years to get to know people.
Their roots are short but flexible.
They plant annuals for themselves and perennials for those who come after them.

Military Wives quickly learn to value each other. They connect over coffee, rely on the spouse-network and accept offers of friendship and favors and record addresses in pencil.

Military Wives have a common bond. The Military Wife has a husband unlike other husbands. His commitment is unique. He doesn't have a job, he has a 'mission' he can't just decide to quit.
He's on-call for his country 24/7 but for you, he's the most...
Unreliable guy in town!
His language is foreign: TDY, PCS, OPR, ACC, BDU
And so, a Military Wife is a translator for her family and his.
She is the long-distance link to keep them informed; the glue that holds them together.

Military Wife has her moments--
She wants to wring his neck, dye his uniform pink, and refuse to move to Siberia.
But she pulls herself together. Give her a few days, a travel brochure, a long hot bath, a pledge to the flag, and a wedding picture.
And she goes.
She packs.
She moves.
She follows.

Why? What for? How come? You may think it is because she has lost her mind.
But actually it is because she has lost her heart.
It was stolen from her by a man
who puts duty first
who longs to deploy
who salutes the flag
and whose boots in the doorway remind her that as long as he is her Military husband,
She will remain his Military wife.