Monday, July 21, 2008

another list

Ages ago, a friend emailed this list to me. I've added a few of my own comments in red.

25 WAYS TO KNOW YOU ARE A MARINE SPOUSE:

1. You yell at your kids saying, "Don't make me email your Father!"
2. Your neighbors know you but have never seen your active-duty husband. Likewise, your husband has no idea who any of the neighbors are.
3. Your conversations are sprinkled with PCS, TAD, LES, etc. and you know what they mean. My brother-in-law actually said that I "talk like him [Stretch] now."
4. You had 8 address changes in 9 years and you are not on the run from the law. 9 addresses in 10 years. And, no, we're not on the run from the law.
5. The front hall closet of your home is designated as a uniform closet. What?! Only one dinky hall closet?! How about a separate bedroom with it's own big closet. That way the room can house all that "I love me" gear: awards, plaques, military-themed pictures and decorations...oh, and the uniforms, too...
6. Your spouse will be gone for 2 weeks for work and you think, "Is that all? No problem." "I'll get to catch up on all the "chick" rentals from Netflix." "The kids can eat chicken nuggets and mac-n-cheese -- woo hoo, no cooking for 2 weeks!"
7. The radiator blows up on the car and the washing machine dies just as your spouse leaves for temporary duty. And you wait for the 3rd thing to go.
8. You aren't surprised when you get 4 day notice for a 4 month deployment.
9. You don't know your own Social Security number, but you know your spouse's by heart. And you're surprised when anyone wants yours.
10. You are in a disagreement with a bill collector and say, "Let me speak to your CO!"
11. You spend your second wedding anniversary alone. Been there, done that.
12. You move your day care business from one state to another and still have the same children enrolled.
13. You have a collection of different shapes, sizes, and colors of window treatments for the same room. I didn't even bother with window treatments until 2 years ago. But now the collection does seem to be growing. What's disturbing, though, is the collection of curtain rods I now have.
14. Your heart races when you hear the doorbell ring during a deployment. Or the phone ring.
15. You've done more oil changes and mowed more lawns than your spouse because he's never there to do it himself. I just laugh when Stretch wants to keep some ratty piece of clothing because he "can wear it for yard work." When is he ever home to DO any yard work?
16. You remember milestones by duty stations. Oh, yeah...when/where major purchases were made, when/where the kids were born.

17. All your kids, including your 2 yr old, stop what they are doing and put their hands on their hearts whenever they hear the National Anthem.
18. You can sleep through the sounds of fighter planes and bombers during their morning practice. I usually don't even notice when artillery is going off in the distance.
19. You reach for your ID card when entering a civilian store. I've actually flashed my ID at Sam's Club.
20. You ask someone to hold on by saying, "Standby." Okay, I admit it, I've done this.
21. Your kids point and anyone wearing cammies and boots, regardless of race or gender and yell Daddy! Thank goodness everyone else's kid on base usually does the same thing!
22. You tell the movers the correct way to pack.
23. You notice when Hollywood makes mistakes in portraying the military. Ok, I admit, I do.
24. Military homecomings on TV bring tears to your eyes because you can relate so well. Sadly, it doesn't take much. I also love the Toys for Tots commercial with the little boy going up to the stoic Marine who eventually opens his hand and takes the boy's list and then the boy leaves whispering, "He really is Santa Claus!"
25. You start to read the Leatherneck in place of Cosmopolitan. I've picked up the Marine Corps Gazette to glance through it to see if we know any of the contributors. I don't really read many of the articles, though. Sad, I know.

3 comments:

Jody said...

This was a fun post. I don't have anything funny to add, but I do have a couple observations/comments.

3. Wait until you use all these acronyms in the civilian world. Not only do you have to explain what each one stands for you have to translate it into civilian jargon. I'm starting to speak civilian on a regular basis.
4. This leads to me having a very hard time remembering my zip code at times. You know how some stores will ask for your zip when you check out. I can't tell you how many times I've drawn a blank. I can never decide if explaining my lack of instant recall of my zip or just using the first one that comes to mind is worse.
9.I'm always afraid the person asking for my social is going to think I am not who I claim to be since it takes me so long to get it straight.
17. We went to the drive-in several weeks ago and they played the National Anthem at the beginning. My military born babes knew the drill.
18. In CA P.K. and I actually had the following conversation on multiple occasions.
Jody-Was that an earthquake?
P.K.-No. There is a CAX going on. It was probably just live fire.
That is not normal!
21. Rachel was about 18 months. She and I were walking into the chapel. A female RP in cammies who was accompanied by a male RP stopped to talk to me. Poor Rachel. The male RP was about the same height as P.K. and had similar skin color. You should have seen the look of horror on her face when she looked at his face and saw it wasn't daddy.

trying said...

HILARIOUS!!

I would add that your kids think that all doctors wear cammies, and that grocery stores are all called commissaries.

Marine Wife said...

trying, my youngest calls Wal-Mart here the PX!