Thursday, August 07, 2008

Guard Wife had an interesting post over on SpouseBuzz. The Mrs. over at Trying Our Best had a similar post a little while ago. The issue was having or not having a third child or when to know when you were done having children. This is such a personal issue and it is different for every family and every person.

But I know I am done. So done.

Early on, Stretch and I agreed that 2 children was the right number for us. We both came from families that had 2 kids. From a logical perspective, it meant a parent-child ratio of 1 to 1 (well, when he's around) and when only one parent was around, we had a hand for each child.

Yes, it's nice to hold a baby and inhale that clean powdery baby smell. And it's fun to play with with my toddler nephews. But babies grow up and have to be potty-trained. My girls are 4 and almost 8 now. Neither one needs to have her diaper changed. I no longer have to haul a diaper bag, changes of clothing, and a stroller just to get out the door. I no longer have to pack for every contingency just to go shopping. The oldest can get her own breakfast and even her sister's if she needs to. She can make a simple sandwich if she's hungry and no one else is willing to do it for her. The youngest is fully verbal now. I don't have to guess as much about what's wrong if she's crying. These are little things but they are huge at the same time. It means that the girls are moving that much closer to independence. They are obviously nowhere near being independent but they are a lot less dependent on me.

Although we haven't made the switch yet, legally Big Sis doesn't have to ride in her booster seat in this new state. And L'il Sis could probably make the switch from car seat to booster (her seat does both). The point is both are growing up and it is getting easier to get in and out of the car with them. Do I really want to go back to a baby in a rear-facing car seat that takes up so much room in a vehicle? No. And, on a tangent, why is it that the smaller the child, the more room their luggage and equipment takes up?!

Next year, both girls will be in school. I can almost taste getting a life of my own. So do I want to start all over? No! I love my girls and wouldn't change anything about having them, but to borrow a phrase from Bill Cosby, we have 2 children because we do not want 3.


Guard Wife said...

All of those things are big plusses with me too.

Perhaps once this school year gets rolling, I'll have a better idea of what's up. There will be activities, etc. and I'm hoping to land a decent job. Once I have my bearings, I may be able to see what the scoop is and if I'm done or not.

It isn't that I don't think my 2 girls are fulfilling & I fill like I'm missing out. I don't. I just look ahead to the future and I guess I always imagined I'd have 3 kids. Not sure why.

Thanks for posting this and for the other link...I'm going to go read it now!

The Mrs. said...

Great post.

The things you listed about the independence that your girls have now may seem like little things to someone who doesnt have kids but HUGE to someone who does.

I am having such a hard time over this right now. I would love a third but I just cant do it. I only have two eyes, two hands, and one spouse who is barely around! I feel like there are days I'm spread thin as it is (though never in the thigh region) that add one more and I dont know if I'd be "present" enough for any of them.

Im off to read the other post now. Pardon the typos as I write a very clingy 20mth old is coloring on my lap.

Meredith said...

This is such an emotional subject for me as my kiddos get older. I wrote a blog about it in June. I've reposted it on my blogger account so you can read it. I'd kind of let that blog die with the start of my Myspace.

I can't have babies just to have a BABY. You really have to want another CHILD. 10+ years after my first one means I am starting to fully understand that meaning. ACK.