Wednesday, July 18, 2007

warning: rant ahead

Let me preface this by saying that July has been a difficult month for me (yes, I know it's not over yet!). There are several reasons for this. It's our anniversary month and we're not even on the same continent. We are 5 months into this deployment and this is the month I've really hit a wall. Maybe it's because I really want to get into homecoming mode but homecoming is so far away I can't even see it! Even R & R seems a long way away (and will be over much too fast). Maybe it is the anticipation of R & R and how hard it will be when he leaves again to finish the deployment. Maybe I'm just ready for school to start again. Whatever the reason, this is really not the month to try my patience with foolishness. Okay, my family and friends will probably say there's never a good time for that. I admit it; stupidity really gets on my nerves. So you've been forewarned. Proceed at your own risk.

At the end of the month, my sister and her family (including 4 kids, 3 of whom are not yet school-age); my mom and stepfather; my 2 kids and I are all going to a beach house. We're celebrating my mother's birthday and spending time together. As we are so spread out, we don't get the chance to all be together often. Keep this in mind.

A woman at my sister's church overheard her talking about our plans. I'll call her Ima (you can fill in the last name yourself). Later, she contacts my sister and gives her a sob story about losing her mother last year, who was apparently also her babysitter. Ima goes on to say that she and her family will also be at the same beach and that it will be their wedding anniversary. It would be such a blessing if my sister could watch her 2 kids for them so they could get a night to themselves. They haven't had a night out since her mother became sick. Oh, and she'd only expect my sister to watch her kids for 5 hours!

My sister tried a tactful approach by saying that she didn't think it would be a good idea as we'd be taking mom out for dinner one night. Not taking the hint, Ima said another night would work for them as well. The nerve! Ima said it would be such a blessing for her and her husband to get to spend an anniversary just as a couple. My sister pointed out that it was my anniversary month, too, and my husband is deployed to a war zone so I spent it without him. At any rate, Ima kept persisting despite my sister telling her no.

Who does this? I can't imagine intruding into another family's vacation in this way. Or another family's reunion. And the nerve of her, trying to guilt a virtual stranger into babysitting for her by telling her what a blessing it would be. My sister wisely refused to give me Ima's phone number. She knows I'd give Ima an earful of blessings.


Special K~ Toni said...

I think we may be living parallel lives! My hubs is deployed also(AF), I am meeting up with my family at the end of the month at a beach house~ I will be getting to see my twin nephews and a niece that I have never met!

Ima is a piece of work- the nerve! I would go bonkers on her!

Thanks for visiting my blog!

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I am constantly amazed, and appalled, at the nerve of some people!

I can not even imagine!

July will be over soon......hope August is better! :)

Hang in there girl......I'm thinking of you!

Meredith said...

I certainly HOPE your sister did not agree! What a crazy bee---- yotch she knows. **WHO** picks a woman with 4 young children on a family vacation as an appropriate babysitter?? It'd be one thing (and a stretch, anyway) if your sister had a 15 year old, and she wanted to borrow her for 2 hours. But a young mother of four, for 5 hours? On a family vacation? Have Sis say, no, no, no, no , no. "We know you feel blessed with those two children, so enjoy them and be with the fruits of your love this anniversary year".

Sheesh... I can't even imagine the garbonzos that woman has.

Military Mommy said...

That Ima has some nerve. I think it is totally within your sister's rights to set a boundary there and She doesn't even HAVE to give a reason. "I'm sorry - that won't work out for my family. I hope you enjoy your anniversary though"

Actually, it would probably be good to set it now. Ima is showing her lack of boundaries, so the sooner the better IMO.

I know what you mean about a rut. I get in at least 2 every deployment. I'm thinking of you and sending you big hugs. Hang in there, friend.

avec amy said...

That is seriously insane. And throwing around the "blessing" word to inspire guilt makes it even more annoying. Forget her phone number, let's get her address : ) I hope you have a great time, a beach house sounds wonderful.

Linda said...

Pulling a stunt like that in church...sheesh. That's just pathetic.

Your sister, no matter how many times she said now, would not win. Not with Ima B. (did I get the last name right????). Seriously...this is my answer to Ima: So sorry, but we will NOT do it for you. Despite what you believe, this is my family vacation and we will be extremely busy with FAMILY, doing FAMILY things and for you to foist your children upon ME is wrong. They are not part of my family. I feel quite sorry that you lost your mother aka babysitter, but I'm sure there are agencies that can provide a sitter for you for that time. And if not, take the kids - heck, if it weren't for your marriage, they wouldn't (hopefully) be around, right? So go celebrate THEM as well.

Don't throw "blessings" around like water...

Amy said...

That really is nervy. I'm with Linda above: She needs to simply tell Ima that she is with a very large group of people and can't speak for them and their plans, so it's just impossible to say yes.

On a positive note, enjoy your trip. We did this in April with 19 members of my/my husband's family and had so much fun. Your girls will have a blast with their cousins.

Shannon said...

You go girl. Let me guess, Ima's last name is Blessing, right? ;)