Military Spouse Appreciation and Mother's Day

It's Military Spouse Appreciation Day. And I, for one, appreciate the spouses over at SpouseBuzz. They are a great source of support. AND they have this little radio show... Last night, they spoke with 2 gentlemen from USAA about identity theft and renter's insurance. They also gave an iPod to a caller. That caller was me! Thanks, SpouseBuzz and USAA!





In other mil-spouse news, Household Baggage Handlers is being released in the next week or two. Marna Krajeski has edited a volume of essays by military spouses (including me!) so be sure to look for it.

And finally, Happy Mother's Day a few days early!

L'il Sis is Four!

Wow! Time really does fly! It's hard to believe but our baby is definitely NOT a baby anymore. L'il Sis turned 4 last weekend. I made chocolate/pumpkin muffins* for her to take to preschool. She wanted pink icing and did the sprinkles herself.

We celebrated as a family on Saturday. This was nice because Stretch was gone last year. To be fair, that's the only birthday of L'il Sis' that he's missed. Big Sis and I haven't been so lucky.

*I made chocolate/pumpkin muffins so that I could have something, too. They are only 2 Weight Watchers points per muffin. The kids never noticed the difference. Basically, it's a chocolate cake mix and a can of pumpkin. Mix and bake.

Spring Break

Yes, I know I'm late since Spring Break was 2 weeks ago... Better late than never!



Backing up just a bit...I returned from my fruitless house hunting trip on a Friday night. By Sunday, Stretch hit the road for a course. The next day, Monday, found the girls and I on the road to my in-laws' house for a few days. Then, it was another day on the road to join Stretch for a long weekend before returning home.



Stretch had classes to attend so I took the girls to the Virginia Zoo the first day we were there.

Saturday morning found us at Jamestown. L'il Sis particularly liked the Indian village. She wasn't too thrilled with the ships and wanted off of them as soon as possible.

Because we are over-achievers, after we left Jamestown, we headed over to Yorktown.

Every time we saw a cannon, L'il Sis would exclaim, "Oh, Daddy! It's your favorite!"

We also went to the Yorktown battlefield. Did I mention being over-achievers? It was late by then, and the park building was closed for the day. So we walked parts of the battlefield while Stretch tried to explain the battle in terms a 7 year old could understand. You can see in the picture that Big Sis insisted on a rifle at the previous stop's gift shop (she wanted it so badly, she paid for it herself). She was cute, paying close attention to Stretch's explanations and asking questions. The next day, after we returned home, she rounded up a couple of the neighborhood boys, enlisted them and fought the British.

It was a lot to pack into a single day, and although I was exhausted, I'm so glad we did it. The girls both seemed to enjoy themselves and we really don't know when we'll be in the area again.

article

Check out "Anti-War Wounds." The article is an eloquent expression of what it feels like to be married to a military servicemember during this war. And it makes a pretty good point on using the word "we." Katie Dyer was able to put into words something that is often so difficult to express.

Update: I think the writer's focus was not on the anti-war movement but rather on what it is like for military spouses when confronted with some of those attitudes by people who have no idea what our lives or our spouses' lives are like or about. I had something similar happen on my recent house hunting trip. While eating breakfast one morning, an older man started chatting with my mother-in-law and me. As soon as he found out that Stretch was in the military, he immediately started in with how terrible the war was and what a waste it was and then followed up with "but your husband probably supports it" as if all military members blindly support anything and everything the administration does. Regardless of Stretch's views, this man was talking to me. And he had no idea of what my views were or what it feels like to hear someone say that the past year my husband and I spent apart had no value and was a complete waste. I think Ms. Dyer's point was that everyone has the right to their own opinion but opinions can be expressed without trampling on other people. For one protester to tell her that she'd join them when her husband was dead was going beyond the pale.

peeking into the civilian world...

Our next duty station is in the civilian world. So despite being in a large metropolitan area, it feels like we're going to a remote location. No commissary. No military hospital or military doctors. None of the usual groups and services that I usually just take for granted: Spouses' groups, LINKS, base childcare, base chapel (I secretly like them because I know everyone there "gets" it), oh the list could go on forever. So, as you can see, I'm a bit nervous of leaving the safe harbor of military living and making this initial foray into civilian living.

Well, let me tell you, my recent house-hunting trip did very little to allay those nerves! I spent almost a week (and let's not talk about how much money) going to the area with my mother-in-law and looked for rental property. It was incredible frustrating. My first choice, while not ideal was in a great school district, had a grumpy landlord and/or property manager who refused to do basic things to make the house fit to live in. So cross that one off. My second choice wouldn't come down on the rent (I didn't really expect them to) so cross that one off. My third choice... well, I thought it was decent compromise of the things we were looking for and, at first blush, the landlord seemed great and accommodating. We signed a rental contract and I handed over a deposit check and a check for the first month's rent. And I returned home.

The following week, the lease was faxed to me for approval. I could feel my blood pressure rising as I read through it. Stretch probably thought I was going to have a stroke as I kept saying things like, "No! Um, no! What?! Is he crazy?" Bottom line: the lease didn't come close to resembling the terms of the rental contract. For starters, deposit and rent amounts had been increased. The military clause had been left out. And from what was written, it appeared the landlord intended to return very little of the security deposit. After going "high and to the right," I calmed down and put on my lawyer hat. I emailed my realtor with a list of why I viewed the landlord as being in breach of contract and gave examples of him showing bad faith (one example was he'd cashed the rent check despite not having a signed lease!) and expressed the need to have all money returned to us immediately. (We did eventually get our money back, by the way.)

So what did I have to show for my week in the area? Lots of stress (and physical manifestations of that stress) and we STILL don't have a home.

by the numbers....

Sometimes, I think too much.

While driving across yet another state last week, I decided to tally up just how long Stretch has been with us during this past assignment. That was a mistake.

We will be in our present home for almost 16 months when we move out this summer. During that time, Stretch will have been home for roughly 3 months, not all together but if you piece the individual days and weeks together.

We're going to have very different memories of this duty station. I doubt he'll remember the house at all. And after all my, ahem, issues with this house, I doubt I'll be able to forget it!

Quote

"Freedom is never more than one generation from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free."

~Ronald Reagan

Spa Day

We're going to be moving (again!) in a couple of months. It seems like we just got here. Oh, yeah, we did just get here (practically). We'll have been in this house for almost 16 months when we move.

I'm going househunting next week with my mother-in-law while Stretch stays home with the kids. Between all of the recent chaos, stress from the upcoming move, stress from worrying about finding a home at the other end in a good neighborhood with a good school, etc., etc.... Well, I've been a bit stressed lately. Then, add another birthday this Sunday. Yay, me!

I have to give Stretch kudos this year. He did really well. I received my pressies early this year since I'm leaving tomorrow. The kids gave me perfume and Stretch gave me jewelry (always appreciated). Then he also surprised me with a spa package at a local day spa. A massage (pure bliss!), mini-facial (very nice!) and a spa manicure (I would NEVER get this for myself). It was so nice to spend 3 hours being pampered and not feel an ounce of guilt for it. So relaxing!

In honor of April being Month of the Military Child...

I am a

Marine Brat

My hometown is nowhere, my friends are everywhere.

I grew up with the knowledge that home

is where the heart is and the family..

with no dependency on the dwelling.

Mobility is my way of life.

Some would wonder about roots.

yet they are as deep and strong as the mighty oak.

I sink them quickly, absorbing all an area offers

and hopefully, give enrichment in return.

Travel has taught me to be open.

Shaking hands with the universe,

I find brotherhood in all men.

Farewells are never easy.

Yet, even in sorrow comes some strength and ability

to face tomorrow with anticipation...

And if when I leave one place

I feel that half my world is left behind, I also know

that the other half is waiting to be met.

Friendships are formed in hours and kept for decades.

I will not grow up with anyone but will mature with many.

Be it inevitable that paths part, there is constant hope

that they will meet again.

Love of country, respect and pride

fill my being when Old Glory passes in review.

When I stand to honor the flag

so also do I stand to honor all Marines, and

most especially, to the parents whose life created mine.

Because of this

I have shared in the rich heritage of the Marine life.

~Anonymous

*******

If you haven't already seen this film, I highly recommend BRATS: Our Journey Home. It will especially resonate if you grew up in the military, as I did. It's narrated by Kris Kristofferson (an Air Force Brat). I had the opportunity to attend a screening on base where the director Donna Musil (also a military brat) was available to answer questions.

Military Motherhood Award

Only a few days left to nominate someone for the Military Motherhood Award. The deadline is March 31. So head over to CinCHouse with your nominee. They are looking for "inspirational stories of military wives and women in uniform who are successfully parenting children through the challenges of military life. These can be your children, stepchildren, foster children or others in unique circumstances. "

The winner gets "$5,000 and a free trip to the awards ceremony in Washington, D.C."

Just because I think it's funny...

I don't have a problem with anyone disagreeing with elected officials or with our foreign policies. As Americans, we ALL have the right to free speech (even those obnoxious Marines). But episodes like the one in Berkeley might be one of the reasons that I find myself less liberal than I used to be.

What's your accent?

Instead of calling it "Midland," I think I'm going to have to call my accent: "Mil-brat." Because I'm not from any of the places named. I was born in Tennessee, grew up in the Army, eventually landing in Oklahoma. Oh, and I pick up accents pretty easily so I have to watch it or it sounds like I'm making fun of people when I'm really not.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
Boston
North Central
The Inland North
The South
Philadelphia
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Car, planes, and ERs

I'm back!!! Well, for now, anyway.

We've had a crazy 4 weeks. First, Stretch and I went away for a week to attend a seminar together. Okay, not exactly together. We spent most of our time in separate classes and only had lunch together twice all week. But we were told by the organizers to enjoy that week as a "honeymoon time." So we waved as we passed each other in the hall and remarked, "Glad we're getting to enjoy all this togetherness!" On the plus side, thought, I met some great people and received a lot of really good information that I hope will be helpful at the next duty station.

We raced home from that week to attend Big Sis' last basketball game of the season. She was the first to score a basket in that game and went on to score several more times. This was huge because it was the first time all season that she'd made baskets during a game. She's actually very good at making baskets but is not terribly aggressive about getting the ball during a game.

Stretch went back to finish the last week of the seminar. He took a rental car that didn't look big enough for him. Somehow he managed to fold himself into it. I stayed behind with the kids to get ready for our next trip. There was so much to do and so little time. So... a few things just didn't get done (like getting the house clean). Then the girls and I drove to my sisters' house Friday night (where Stretch met us) so that we could return the rental car and fly out Saturday. Stretch had another course to attend and we were tagging along because my parents live in the same area.

L'il Sis spent the entire 2 weeks we were away sick. I took her to the ER twice! She felt better just in time to fly back home. The first week, she was congested and had a fever. I took her to the ER when she'd had the fever for days and it kept coming back and then she started blowing blood out of her nose. The second week and second ER trip was because she spent a night vomiting and having diarrhea. She'd dropped at least 2 lbs. They gave her 2 bags of IV fluids, one had anti-nausea medication in it. Then, they sent us home with suppositories for the nausea. Have I mentioned that L'il Sis is 3-1/2? We tried but the suppositories... they just didn't happen.

Between illnesses, there was a brief respite during which I was able to see 2 of my best friends. We spent one afternoon going to lunch, shopping and getting pedicures. We were also able to get the kids together to play once.

It never seems to fail... whenever I've flown with the kids to see grandparents, there is always illness and an ER visit. At last count, there were a minimum of 4 ear infections (they never seem to get them any other time), one case of chicken pox, and now L'il Sis' mystery viral illness.

It's no wonder I'm cranky.

Really?!

This was an actual conversation between a husband and wife:

Wife: I'm really tired of you acting like you're retarded in the kitchen!
Husband: Have you considered that it might not be an act?

I love my husband dearly and he really has many fine qualities, including his intelligence. But I think the honeymoon is over.

Ah, much better!

A few weeks ago, we bought a second vehicle. While waiting for our license plate to come in the mail, I've been using a temporary base pass. It's just not the same. It felt like the car was naked without those DoD stickers. Yesterday, the plate finally arrived and I practically ran to the base vehicle registration office. After getting the stickers, I ran the car through the car wash and went back home to put the stickers on. Yes! not naked anymore!

Operation Purple

Did you know that there are FREE summer camps especially for kids with a deployed parent? Wow! What a great concept. It's called Operation Purple and is brought to us by those fine folks at the National Military Family Association. Check it out!

Tired

I know postings have been few and far between lately. This past week, we had my 2 youngest nephews here for the week (newly minted 3 year old and 14 month old). While they were fine, having 4 kids in the house was exhausting. I don't know how my sister does it every day! (She has 2 older ones who were farmed out elsewhere.) It certainly drove home the point to both Stretch and me that we are so done in the procreation department!

The boys left today. Later this evening, my mother-in-law is coming so she can watch our girls for the next week. Stretch and I will be away attending classes. A couple of weeks after that, we will all be gone for 2 weeks to visit my mother and stepfather while Stretch takes another class. Then there will be house hunting (heh heh, Stretch is staying here with the kids while I go! heh heh). And Stretch has yet another class. Then we'll PCS.

So... no promises on regularity of postings. It will be very hit or miss here for the next few months.

Happy Valentine's Day

To all of you spending the day away from your loved one...

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

And then there were four...

It's hard to believe that Stretch has only been home a week. It feels like so much has happened, yet nothing has really happened, all at once. Mainly, it feels like he was never away.

Granted, we haven't gotten back into a normal work routine with him yet. And that's fine by me. It has been FABULOUS to have another parent around. Especially when I came down with something. I think Guard Wife has a point: they probably do bring all sorts of lovely germs back with them AND our bodies finally say "enough already, I'm run down and I'm going to bed now that there's back-up!"

Other than that little hiccup (I'm better but still not 100%), things have been really good. We've had a wonderful reunion. The girls have loved having their Daddy back. And he's been good about not letting them run wild. In fact, he's been the primary disciplinarian for the past week, a role I'm more than happy to relinquish! I'll admit that it's a bit galling that they (still) listen to him much better than to me, but I'm going to chalk that up to them being around me so much more that I probably just sound like the teacher from the Peanuts cartoons.

We're probably still in the honeymoon phase. But that's okay. I'll take it as long as it lasts!

Thanks to everyone who left messages of welcome for Stretch!

Sorry for the lack of posting... Stretch has been home almost a week now. I'm sick as a dog and buried under a mountain of laundry. (How does the addition of ONE person quadruple the laundry load?!)

But other than that, everything is going well. When I get my feet back under me and get back into a routine, I'll try to get a better post up.

Exhale...

...He's home!

Oh, no, she didn't!

So I caught my 7 year old on eBay today. She was trying to order an electronic My Little Pet Shop toy. Yes, she was. I pointed out that she couldn't because she doesn't have a credit card. So, she wanted to borrow mine. As if!

By the way, this is after I found her on other shopping sites looking at similar items. She just couldn't understand why I wouldn't order it for her right then and there. Seriously? Where have I gone wrong? (Don't answer that!)

Thank God her father will be here to deal with her soon! Very, very soon!

America's Marines (extended version)

I've become a sucker for Marine commercials...

Amazon children

You know that expression, "growing like weeds?"

In the case of Big and L'il Sis, they might be growing faster than weeds. Clearly, this does not come from my gene pool and I can easily lay the blame on Stretch.

The girls had a checkup today. In the past year, Big Sis has grown 3-1/2 inches and L'il Sis has grown 4 inches. At this rate, Big Sis will be taller than me by the time she is 11 or 12! And L'il Sis will pass her cousin that is a year older than her by this summer (they are already almost the same height). And that nurse told me L'il Sis was "too young" to be having growing pains back in April. This child (at age 3) has averaged an inch every 3 months. I'm pretty sure those leg pains at night are growing pains, regardless of her age.

I'm starting to hear the fat lady whisper

We finally have a window! (in a sing-song voice) We have a window! We have a window!

The mil-spouses will know what I mean. I now have a period of a few days in which to expect Stretch home sometime within that time. And for you non-mil-spouses, yes, it really does help cut down on the uncertainty.

Even better, I was actually right (after some recent recalculating) about when the window will be. Hm-m, I might actually be getting the hang of this being married to a Marine business. It's only taken about 10 years.

Actually, I take that back. I haven't done anything to get ready for reunion yet. I don't even have anything to make a sign with yet. Are yellow ribbons and balloons too minimalistic? I might be able to pull that off. I'm not usually this unorganized. Really!

In which my 7 year old obtains legal representation...

me (talking to Big Sis, who is on the computer): You have 2 minutes left.
Big Sis (outraged): what?!
me: I don't want to hear it. I've already given you more time than I said earlier. You've had extra time.
L'il Sis (who is only 3!): We're playing SuperWhy.
me: I know but you have to go upstairs and brush your teeth and get ready for bed.
L'il Sis: I know. But it's not over. We have to finish the game.
me (doing a double take): What? Are you Maeve's lawyer now?
L'il Sis: Yes!

where's that fat lady?

Over at SpouseBuzz, Andi wrote about her misadventures in trying to pamper her husband and unleashing her inner domestic goddess. I can remember various reunions where I rehearsed our reunion, planned out menus and scrubbed the house. This time, not so much. I haven't planned for a single dish, let alone an entire meal for Stretch's return. In fact, I can't seem to really accept that he is coming home. It just doesn't seem real yet. We have only a matter of days and weeks left and I'm almost in denial about our reunion. Obviously, I want Stretch home. But I'm nervous, too. Other than his R&R, we've spent almost a year apart. We've both changed. The kids have changed.

Plus, I've been doing everything around here. While that sucked, it also meant that everything was done MY way. (hmm, I don't have any control issues or anything) It also meant if something didn't get done, I had no one else to blame. But soon, Stretch will be here. He'll do things his way. And I'll have to remember that it's okay. I'll have to learn to let go and to share again. Not just the little things like the remote, but the big things like parenting, too.

The thing is that reunion still seems so far off. (I know it's not.) It isn't "real" yet. They say it isn't over until the fat lady sings and, so far, I haven't heard her singing.

If it's not one thing, it's another...

It looked like the maintenance workers on my base were having a party at my house today.

I had one van parked out front and three more parked in my back yard. One of them told me I was one of their favorite ladies. Yeah, sure. Of course, I know most of their names since they are at my house so often.

Yesterday, I had the leak. Today it was the heat downstairs. It wasn't heating. It was blowing cool air.

This is how the "built-in" in my powder room should (and usually does) look.

But, today, this is how it looked. They had to pull it out to get to a heating unit under the stairs. Lovely. After doing some rewiring, they shoved it back into place. Then they told me the heat pump for downstairs (it is in the backyard) will need to be replaced. They'll do that Tuesday, weather permitting. I'm not going to hold my breath. Oh, and I need to keep my fingers crossed that it will be compatible with the unit under the stairs (and behind my powder room built-in) or it will also need to be replaced. Oh, joy!

Deep breaths.

Update: It's Wednesday and I have a new heat pump. Eventually, late in the day, someone even came and picked up the old (rusted and rather scary-looking) one that had been sitting in my backyard. All I needed was for it to be on cement blocks.

So far, it doesn't seem like they'll need to pull the built-in back out again. Knock on wood. It seems to be working okay. I have new cracks in the plaster all over the powder room and also in the kitchen, but I'm trying to ignore them.

Argh! The house from hell strikes again!

The house is leaking...AGAIN! The nice maintenance man who came by to look at it and then later brought another dehumidifier for the back hall, said the repairs would probably need to be pretty extensive. Can it wait for me to get out of this house?

Yeah, the dehumidifier is huge and loud and is in the back hall right by the guest room. The drainage tube is duct taped to the floor in front of the guest room door to prevent tripping and the tube is snaked back to the shower in the guest bathroom. This contraption is supposed to be here all weekend. Oh, and did I mention that I'm expecting my sister, her 4 kids, her friend, and maybe one of their dogs to come for a visit this weekend?

Ugly Dress Ball

I mentioned before that this past year was the first time since 1998 that I haven't attended a Marine Corps Birthday Ball. Well, I wasn't alone in not attending a Ball. One of our KVs came up with the idea of having an Ugly Gown Ball. We finally had it last weekend. It was a blast, not to mention a blast from the past! One of my friends wore her junior prom dress, complete with mismatched neon socks and jelly bracelets. Okay, the fact that she still had the dress (a pink, off the shoulder Jessica McLintock number) AND could still wear it... Well, it's just not right!

The woman in the gunny sack dress won for Ugliest Dress. You can't tell in the picture, but her tiara, ring and want all light up. This might have been a bit of a theme as another friend wore shoes that lit up. I wore sneakers with my dress because at most Balls, my feet are killing me by the end of the night. But I have to say, trying to do the twist in sneakers and on carpet is not an easy feat. And that pink thing in my hair is a skewer from sampling the chocolate fountain (YUM!).

One of the ladies brought champagne in a can (think the size of a small juice box). They had tiny straws attached to them (again, a la juice box). Between that and the outfits (more than one woman was sporting some electrifying blue eyeshadow, as well), we just couldn't get much classier!

We ate and danced and some even karaoke'ed. A few times I snuck peeks at the few men present (the Family Readiness SNCO, CO and DJ) and wondered if we were scaring them yet, especially when the roll of toilet paper started flying (one piece snagged on a ceiling fan and stayed there for the rest of the night). I'm sure Staff Sergeant was inwardly shaking his head and thinking, "Is this what happens when we go off for a year?"

And to that, I can only say, "Oh, honey, if you only knew..."

Kudos to all the ladies who planned and put the night together. It was a great way to round off this deployment. I'm so glad I was on the same roller coaster as these special ladies.

just another great gene...

I started finding curly white hair in my straight brown hair while in college. Yes, college! Recently, I noticed a single white hair in the back of my 3 year old's mop of brown hair. Guess that's at least one gene she inherited from me.

The end is near... da da dum...

So I have the end of this deployment in my sights... well, almost...practically...maybe... *sigh*

I don't know if it's something in the air or the water or what; but things are upside down, inside out... basically, it's mayhem around here.

I spent all morning running around base and town, frantically running as many errands as I could while L'il Sis was in preschool this morning. I kept tugging at my shirt because it felt like it was choking me. I'd tug on it only to have it creep back up my neck. It wasn't until I was picking up L'il Sis at NOON that I realized I had the shirt on backward...ALL MORNING!

Then, there is L'il Sis. She's been on a tear like only a 3 year old preschooler can lately. If she isn't whining, she's screaming. She's been beyond defiant. Everything is a fight with her lately. Dinner has been a "lovely" experience. Even things she usually likes, I end up forking up and feeding to her to get her to eat. All she wants is "junk food" or "snacks." She actually told me, "I don't like healthy food, only junk food." I think they've been talking about the two at preschool a lot. The funny thing is that she actually does like a lot of healthy things. I guess I better remember to not call them that, though. L'il Sis has also been talking and asking about Stretch a lot more lately. So, I'm hoping that it's just that she's as done with this deployment as I am. Otherwise, maybe I really will run away from home as soon as Stretch is here and has leave. (Shh, no one tell him or he'll never take any!)

Looking back at 2007

I didn't want to do a post on resolutions. It seemed a bit hypocritical since I haven't made any resolutions in years. Mainly, because they tend to be a laundry list of wishful thinking rather than any real goals that I'll actually work toward. So, I thought, instead, I would write about what 2007 brought me. In some ways, I'd really like to just write off the year. Stretch was gone for the vast majority of the year, making it the year of putting my head down and putting one foot in front of the other, just trying to make it through moment by moment, day by day, week by week. I'm finally at the point of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and, no, it's not an on-coming train. The deployment is almost over!

But I digress. What did 2007 bring me? Mainly, it renewed my appreciation for my husband. I knew I loved him before, but maybe I didn't realize just how much. I missed Stretch with an intensity that almost surprised me. After 10 years together, I just assumed that I would miss him but that I would get on with the business of daily life. And I did. I didn't need Stretch to take out the trash or help get the girls in bed. I'm not gonna lie, another adult to share the load would have been beyond nice. It's just that those things weren't impossible or overwhelming to me.

Stretch's absence was the difficult thing. I never did get into a good sleep pattern. And he was always, ALWAYS, in my thoughts. Sometimes, he'd be in the background and not in the forefront of my mind but his presence was always there. So many times, each and every day, I found myself wanting to share something with him or thinking how much he'd enjoy something.

I checked my email so many times each day in case he'd found time to send me a line or two. And I found myself emailing him the dumbest stories just to be in contact with him. In an odd way, despite the miles and the ocean between us, the year brought us closer. He appreciates what I do for him and for our family. He knows how hard it can be. I'm so proud of him and what he does. After 10 years together, I can say, after the roughest year of all, that I am even more in love with him than ever.

"Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal." ~Louis K. Anspacher

I'm not sure who wrote this, but it seems so appropriate today as we get ready to celebrate Christmas without Stretch this year:


I may not always be the one who kisses you goodnight
or sings you songs of carousels and stars shining bright.

But I do not love you any less
even when I can't be there
I need you to remember that
even when it seems unfair.

A military father loves not less
in fact he may love more
because your time's the greatest sacrifice
in the freedom he's fighting for.

Happy Christmas, everyone!

We hit the road today to go to my sister's. I didn't think about the timing of our departure and we hit bumper to bumper traffic getting off the base and out of town. I commented that I'd messed up and forgotten that all the Marines would be getting off at noon today. A very concerned Big Sis responded, "What?! Then who's going to protect us from the bad guys?!"

Here we go again...

It happened again. I don't really want to make it habit. Confronting Marines, that is.

I took the girls to BK on base for dinner tonight since we had to go to Big Sis' basketball practice afterward. There we were, in a nearly deserted BK, trying to eat our dinner. Three Marines sat a few tables away. They were far enough away that I couldn't hear what they were talking about. But they were close enough and loud enough that pretty often I could hear some of the words they were using. One of the Marines, in particular, couldn't seem to take a breath without using a certain word that rhymes with "truck" that I REALLY do not want to hear my 3 year old say*.

The girls weren't paying them any attention, but still... Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so I walked over and calmly said, "Excuse me, but could you watch your language?" and walked away. Much better than the first time I confronted Marines about their *ahem* language usage. But, seriously, were they blind? Mine were not the only kids in there. There was one other family in there (granted they were further away). And the one who was the worst offender was facing us!

*Big Sis has already used this word. At the dinner table, no less. I was shocked but recovered sufficiently to realize that she had no idea what it meant. I tried to find out where she'd heard it (older boys, either on the bus or in the neighborhood). Then, I calmly(no, really!) informed her that if she ever said it again I would wash her mouth out. That might have been the shock talking. But I really do NOT want to witness her using that word in front of her father.

Hm-m...

Apparently, women have more spine than men according to this. Oh, the implications! Oh, the jokes I could make... but that would be taking potshots... Must control... the urge...

"I'm going fast!"

Okay, it's not really that fast, since I can walk and still keep up with her. But for her, it's super speedy. L'il Sis FINALLY discovered her bike and figured out that whole pedalling thing about 2 days ago. Since then, she's been all about riding her bike. Just another one of those things I wish Stretch were here to see.

***

Following in Stretch's footsteps, Big Sis has started this season of basketball. They had their first game last weekend. She' s fast and has really improved her ability to make baskets. She's not terribly aggressive about getting the ball, though, so she only got the ball once. But then she dribbled it all the way down the court before passing it to a teammate. Of course, being a terrible mom, I have no pictures. But I did remember to take stuff to keep L'il Sis entertained. Hey, I'm not Wonder Woman here! And again, this is an area where Stretch's presence would really be useful. I am zero help to the child in sports. That is his area. So much for that plan.

more gremlins

Deployment gremlins strike again! It seems a power surge killed our TV. The one we bought during our recent tour in Korea. It's a cute little flat-screen. So I called the insurance company (yay for renter's insurance!) to see what I needed to do. Following their instructions, I hopped on LG's website to find the nearest authorized technician to look at the corpse. Turns it out there is only one in the state and it is a mere 4 HOURS away. Yeah, that works for me. In some alternate universe, maybe.

Meanwhile, I borrowed some one's husband for the brawn to move our old boxy TV from upstairs to the living room (where the corpse resided). See? I can so ask for help! Okay, maybe it was the vision of me dropping the TV down the stairs, me falling down the stairs, etc., that prompted me to go elsewhere for the muscle power. Just slightly ironic that we were just talking about asking for help over on SpouseBuzz Radio the other night.

power yoga

Last month, my friend talked me into going to a Pilates class with her. I'd never done Pilates. Just a few minutes into the class, I thought I was going to die and was beginning to hate my friend. I was sore for a week! (Yes, I'm completely out of shape but that is beside the point.)

I'd enjoyed yoga in the past and noticed that the same gym offered a yoga class once a week AND it was at a more conducive time for me. Life got in the way and I didn't manage to make it to the class until today. I convinced that same friend to go, too. Yeah. I didn't notice it was a "power" yoga class. My friend, who is in much better shape than me (mainly because she works out all the time and I, well, don't) kept saying it was worse than Pilates. And whose idea was this, anyway? At one point, amidst the groans and grunts, I had to turn my head toward the woman on my right. As I did so, she muttered, "Jesus!" as she tried to maintain her pose. I don't know if it was a comment or a plea for divine intervention. Either way, it's hard to maintain your breathing when you're laughing.

By the way, "power" yoga roughly translates into "ouch!"

3 year olds playing "I spy"

I drove two 3 year olds to see Santa for their preschool field trip on Wednesday. This is part of their conversation:

Boy: L'il Sis! L'il Sis! Guess what I see?
Girl: America?
Boy: Yeah!

Home again

I'm back from SpouseBuzz Live. Many, many thanks to my MIL for watching the kids for me!

It was great to put a face to some of the voices in my head, those imaginary friends. In addition to meeting some of the SpouseBuzz authors, I met Butterfly Wife and her Jack Bauer, who accommodated my need for a photographer not once, but twice. I also met Stephanie, who was just as tiny as I'd imagined.

And, hey! I even won something! It was one of the ammo cases; stuffed with a book, a hat, a t-shirt, and a fleece jacket!

SBL3

Woo-hoo! I'm off to SpouseBuzz Live to meet my imaginary friends!

ghost story

This is my 3 year old telling a ghost story:

It was a dark, dark night! A dark, dark night.
There was a dark, dark woods! A dark, dark woods!
In the dark, dark woods there was a dark, dark house!
A dark, dark house. A dark, dark house,
In the dark, dark house there was a dark, dark room!
A dark, dark room.
In the dark, dark room there was a dark, dark box!
A dark, dark box.
In the dark, dark box there was a GHOST!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. It's been so warm lately that, except for the leaves all over my yard, it doesn't really feel like that time of year yet. Plus, Stretch isn't with us this year. So, what to do? Several friends in my neighborhood decided to join forces. We're going to the Club this year. None of us has to cook and it is right around the corner from our neighborhood. We'll be four families with only one dad between us. The others are all deployed. So the kids will outnumber us. But we don't have to cook! And we're hoping the lone dad will entertain the kiddos to a certain degree. I would feel sorry for him, but I'm too tired this year.

Despite the trials of this past year, I am thankful for several things. I'm thankful that everyone in my family is healthy. I'm thankful for great friends and family that are helping to make this year bearable. I'm thankful to Marna Krajeski for including my essays in her upcoming anthology Household Baggage Handlers. And I'm thankful for our military family.

Confession: I prefer the commissary

I was an Army brat before I was a Marine wife. Commissaries have always been a part of my universe. When it comes to grocery shopping, the commissary is my comfort zone. I know that I won't have access to one next year, and I'm already dreading it. Sure, there are all the complaints about commissaries. The produce usually leaves something to be desired. They should be avoided like the plague on paydays. I know this.

But a few weeks ago I had to go into a civilian grocery store. I actually got a bit disoriented. Then I realized that it's always like that when I go to one of those. They seem familiar yet strange at the same time. Almost like an alternate universe.

"Daddy is a superhero"

Big Sis had a writing assignment for school today. She had to draw a picture of a family member in the military. Then she had to write a story about this person including what their job is, why they are important (to the child and to our country). First, she drew the picture, labeled at the top with "My tall dad" then we set about writing.

I was afraid I was going to have to explain what Stretch's job is. The only problem is that I'm not always sure if I know, let alone trying to explain to a 7 year old. So, I asked her what Daddy's job is. She answered with "His job is to save the world."

Of course, I ruined it by asking if she really thought that was Daddy's job. She ended up writing this: "My dads job is helping peaple. I like that job. [Right] now my dad is saving our country. He is importent to my becase it is an importent job. And also becase he is my dad. I miss him and love him a lot. He is [important] to our country becase he helps America."

Happy 232nd Birthday, Marines!

I realized something recently: This will be the first time in nine years that I won't be attending a Marine Corps Birthday Ball with my husband. We've been apart for birthdays and anniversaries but this is the first year we will miss a Ball. And somehow, that makes me sadder than the birthdays or anniversaries he's missed. It was always the one guaranteed date night of the year where we'd get dressed up and (usually) have a fun evening with friends. And let's face it, these guys clean up really well in their Dress Blues or Mess Dress.

On November 10, 1775, the U.S. Marine Corps was born in Tun Tavern. That's right, they got their start in a bar. Explains a lot, doesn't it? Anyway, since I won't be attending a Ball this year, I decided to celebrate by sharing some of my favorite Marine Corps quotes:

"The Marines have landed and have the situation well in hand!" ~Richard Harding Davis

"Retreat hell! We just got here!" ~Capt. Lloyd Williams, USMC (WWI)

"Teufelhunde! [Devil Dogs]" ~German soldiers, WW I at Belleau Wood

"So they've got us surrounded, good! Now we can fire in any direction, those bastards won't get away this time!" ~Chesty Puller, USMC (Korea)

"The safest place in Korea was right behind a platoon of Marines. Lord, how they could fight!" ~Maj. Gen. Frank Lowe, U.S. Army

"Panic sweeps my men when they are facing the American Marines." ~captured North Korean Major

"I hate for there to be a fight, and me not be in it." ~Marine on CNN's "Devil Dog Diaries"

Excerpts from a speech by RADM J. Stark, USN:
"... it occurred to me that the services could be characterized by different breeds of dogs...
The Air Force reminded me of a French Poodle. The poodle always looks perfect ... sometimes seems a bit pampered ... always travels first class. But don't ever forget that the poodle was bred as a hunting dog and in a fight it's very dangerous.
The Army is kind of like a St. Bernard. It's big and heavy and sometimes seems a bit clumsy. But it's very powerful and has lots of stamina. So you want it for the long haul.
The Navy, God bless us, is a Golden Retriever. They're good natured and great around the house. The kids love 'em. Sometimes their hair is a bit long ... they go wandering off for long periods of time, and they love water.
... Marines I see as two breeds, Rottweilers or Dobermans, because Marines come in two varieties, big and mean, or skinny and mean. ...They're aggressive on the attack and tenacious on defense. They've got really short hair and they always go for the throat. That sounds like a Marine to me!
So what I really like about Marines is that 'first to fight' isn't just a motto, it's a way of life. From the day they were formed at Tun Tavern 224 years ago, Marines have distinguished themselves on battlefields around the world. From the fighting tops of the Bonhomme Richard, to the sands of the Barbary Coast, from the swamps of New Orleans to the halls of Montezuma, from Belleau Wood, to the Argonne Forest, to Guadacanal, and Iwo Jima, and Okinawa and Inchon, and Chosen Reservoir and Hue City and Quang Tri and Dong Ha, and Beirut, and Grenada, and Panama, and Somalia and Bosnia and a thousand unnamed battlefields in godforsaken corners of the globe. Marines have distinguished themselves by their bravery, and stubbornness and aggressive spirit, and sacrifice, and love of country, and loyalty to one another.
They've done it for you and me, and this Country we all love so dearly. And they asked for nothing more than the honor of being a United States Marine.
And that's why I like Marines!"















For some reason, I really like the "We don't promise you a rose garden" recruiting poster (actually I prefer the female version but couldn't find it). Maybe it's the "truth in advertising" aspect of it.

*Thanks to Meredith for finding the female version for me!

Happy Birthday, Marines! And Semper Fi!

Names, names, names...

So the husband isn't too thrilled about being referred to as "Hubs" on the blog. And I don't blame him. As blog-names go, it's pretty lame. I only started using it because it was quick to type and I didn't want to use DH. But clearly, after looking around at some other mil-spouse blogs, I've really fallen short on giving him a blog-name (yes, and also on naming the kids). He hasn't liked any of my ideas so far. So, I'd love to have some suggestions.

Wrong number. Sort of.

The cell phone rang and when I answered, I heard a male voice. But it wasn't my husband. He identified himself as LtCol Somebody and then said, "I'm trying to reach...(um)...Basil." Really? Okay, sure. So, I told him he'd reached a wrong number.

Other than being annoyed that I've been getting several wrong number calls on my cell phone lately, I didn't give it any more thought. Then my husband called later that day. Mid-way through our conversation, he suddenly asked if anyone called looking for "Basil." Well, that's a little weird. How did he know?

He's been traveling lately and had apparently been borrowing someone's cell phone to call me. (No, I didn't ask where he was where a cell phone would even work.) Anyway, the owner of the phone accidentally called me. Afterward, he saw my husband and said, "Hey, Stretch, I think I called your wife. The good news is Basil's not there."

Little things

Communication had been very sporadic the past week and I was missing the contact with my husband. Just when I was really getting lonely for him, he emailed me some pictures of him. It helped.

Flowers for Butterfly Wife

Just a few blooms for Butterfly Wife...