First weekend

Thanks to the Salute to Heroes program, the girls and I spent our first weekend without Hubs in Virginia. We took advantage of the free park admission and went to Busch Gardens Williamsburg Saturday afternoon. My sister suggested the trip some time ago. I knew she was bringing her family and the girls were SO excited to see their aunt, uncle and cousins. Additionally, good friends live in the area and we were able to stay with them. The girls loved getting to play with Mr. M and their dog. Plus, Miss T even gave up her day and went to the park with us. Thank God she did, too! I'm not sure how I would have handled a 7 year old and a 3 year old (sans nap) without her. It was much more crowded than we'd expected, but the girls seemed to have a good time. And honestly, that's all I wanted from this first weekend without Daddy: for them to have a good weekend with plenty of diversions.

I was torn about this weekend. I'd started planning it just before Hubs left. I was trying to finalize plans the day after he left when I learned that his great-uncle had passed away. I still don't know if I did the right thing or not. I sent flowers but opted not to take the girls to the funeral, and followed the original plan for the weekend. While I felt an obligation to be there for Hubs' family, I felt an even deeper obligation to the girls. What would you have done?

Ben Stein

Ben Stein has a new book out called The Real Stars. Some of you may remember that he wrote an essay with the same title some years ago. The book is the current read for the SpouseBuzz Book Club. I'll buy the book as soon as I find it. What makes this book even more attractive? The fact that all the proceeds benefit T.A.P.S.

Back from R&R...

He came.

He played.

He read bedtime stories.

He gave hugs and kisses.

Now, he's gone again.

And the waiting and the missing starts again.

R&R

R&R is almost here! Woo-hoo!

Of course, that means what can go wrong will go wrong.... The only day I had to get the car detailed threatened rain. The morning that L'il Sis was in preschool and I had scheduled a hair and wax appointment, well, my stylist gets horribly ill and has to cancel. While I feel terrible for her and wish her a speedy recovery, I still needed those grey roots to disappear. So, I put my head into the hands of a total stranger and hoped for the best. It worked out okay, but I could have done with less stress to get it all done. When the stylist was shampooing my hair (my favorite part!), I was getting a little head massage. I could feel her trying to work the tension out of my neck and temples. I appreciated the attempt, but almost felt I should tell her it was futile.

Obviously the other thing R&R means is that I'll be absent from the blogosphere for awhile.

*random observation: While driving around running last minute errands, I saw an attractive young woman driving a car with the following on her rear window:
Proud family of
(rank) (name)
(unit)
serving in Iraq

Maybe it's the cynic in me, but my first thought was that it really wasn't a good idea to advertise the fact that her husband was overseas, not home, not around. Especially in such large letters. I understand she's proud of him. But couldn't she find a way to express that without compromising her own security?

This is in front of the main gate to an installation that is home to some noisy machines. I like it!

I posted before on the sound of freedom here. What does freedom sound like to you?

Some serious growth...

With R&R almost here, I wanted to see how much the girls had grown in the almost 8 months since Dad left. You'd think I put fertilizer in their shoes! Big Sis has grown 2-1/2 inches and L'il Sis has grown by 2-3/4 inches. This has got to stop! At this rate, they'll tower over me by the time they are 12!

I must have seriously weak genes.

Mm-m...

I'd never had dark chocolate m&m's. Until today. Where have these been all my life?!

The more things change...

Have you seen this week's Jenny comic strip? Definitely a case of "the more things change, the more they stay the same."

And it's not just the nomadic lifestyle. In this current climate of constant deployments and high stress for military families, this is another area where things have changed considerably from previous eras but so much has also stayed the same.

Previous military families who endured separations during World War II, Korea, Vietnam, and so many more conflicts didn't have access to the communication technologies that we have today. Many of us are able to email or MotoMail our loved ones. Sometimes they are able to call us using morale calls or even satellite phones. Occasionally, units or even individuals are able to arrange VTCs (video tele-conferences) with our service members. Previous generations didn't have any of that.

But what hasn't changed? They are still gone, half a world away in a hostile environment. We still worry. And we wait. Our hearts still break a little each day. We wait and wonder about the person who will return. We wonder if they will still like and love the person we've become, the person they will be returning to. We wonder what we will do if they don't return. We wait and torture ourselves with all the "what ifs." We look at our children and mourn the time they've missed with a parent and all the events and milestones that the other parent has missed. We wait and worry about all the little things and all the big things. We wait while looking forward to homecoming with excitement and anxiety. They are still gone. We are still left behind waiting and trying to hold it all together. Waiting for them to step back into our shared life. That hasn't changed.

The book is not about a military family, but the first page of Audrey Niffenegger's The Time Traveler's Wife resonated with me in terms of being the one left to wait. It begins with these lines:
"....It's hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he's okay. It's hard to be the one who stays."
A little later, she asks: "Why is love intensified by absence?"
Then: "I wait for him. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?"

The waiting hasn't changed.

*update: I'm not recommending the book at this point as I haven't gotten very far in it yet. I'd only just started reading it and the first page just resonated a bit.

random movie

One of the benefits of deployments is that I get to fill our movie queue with all sorts of things that I know Hubs wouldn't watch. I've caught up on movies that the rest of the planet has already seen, chick flicks, BBC TV shows, and other totally random films, like The Man Who Sued God. Sometimes I watch things that are really good but because they are independent or foreign films probably didn't get much play here in the States.

Last night, I watched Sweet Land. I'd never heard of it so went into it with no expectations. It was wonderful! The story is of a German mail order bride arriving in 1920 Minnesota to a hostile Norwegian-American community. Prejudices run rampant and she is unable to procure the paperwork necessary to actually get married. But beyond that, it is a love story of two strangers who come to respect and love each other despite/because of their obstacles. You can see the growing attraction and sexual tension between the couple. You can see the love growing in their eyes as they surreptitiously watch each other. But that's just about all you see. Anticipation is almost another character in this film. But I guess I relate to that these days!

September 11

Six years ago, we were in San Francisco on a vacation. We stood in our hotel room glued to the TV. At first, we thought it was a movie or something. It took us awhile to realize that we were watching news coverage of actual events that were taking place that day. Very quickly, Hubs was on the phone with his unit. Then I was on the phone to arrange for an early return home. There was nothing we could do that day, so we ventured out into the city. It was so eerie. Everything was so quiet and almost deserted. It was as if the entire city was in shock. I guess it was, really.

I feel like I should have something to say today. But I don't. Words really aren't enough.

Preschool

L'il Sis started morning preschool last week. She's getting to be such a big girl! (And I'm reminded of that when she sings "I'm a big girl now!" from the Pull-ups commercials.)

L'il Sis and a classmate waiting at the gate for their teacher to come and get them.

Welcome to Preschool! L'il Stinker never even looked back once the teacher had them all lined up and headed to their classroom. Not once!

At the end of her first day, L'il Sis was happy to tell me what a great day she'd had.

As much as I'd been looking forward to this day, it was a little sad, too. She's potty trained and now she's started preschool. She's no longer a baby, or even a toddler. L'il Sis is officially a preschooler.

Ist day of school

Big Sis started back to school last Thursday. (Yes, I'm a bit late with this post.) As you can see, she insisted on a messenger bag. She wanted something with only one strap. Which makes since, since she preferred to only use one strap on her backpack anyway.

It's hard to believe she's already in 2nd grade! The only thing I'm anxious about this year is the fact that her school is multi-age and her class this years has 2nd graders, 1st graders AND kindergartners! I felt a little better after the parent orientation, but still have some reservations. Big Sis is very bright but will simply coast if allowed to do so. I ought to know since I was the same way!

little artist

This is not a new thing for L'il Sis, but it has been awhile since she's done this. But this week, she did it TWICE! One day, she was coloring in her coloring book (like one is supposed to do), when suddenly I hear, "Mommy, I color my cheeks!" With a pen! Fortunately, it came right off with a baby wipe. Then a few days later, I find the archway into the living room has been "decorated" with a pencil. Cinderella got to clean up her handiwork with a Magic Eraser. I went over it to make sure it was all gone, but she managed to get the bulk of it off. You'd think that will teach her not to color on things other than paper. But I doubt it!

It's come to this

Last night my sister called:
Sis: What are you doing?
Me: Something weird... I'm watching Heartbreak Ridge on TV.
Sis: What's that?
Me: It's a Clint Eastwood Marine movie.
Sis: (long pause) Your Marine really needs to come home.
Me: Ya think?

yep, she's a Devil Pup

A few weeks ago the girls and I joined my mother, step-father, sister, brother-in-law, niece and 3 nephews at a beach house in Topsail for 4 days to celebrate Mom's birthday. Most of the kids loved going down to the beach and playing in the surf. I say most because my 2 year old nephew screamed and shook when he first saw it. And L'il Sis thought "a dab'll do ya." I'd take her down to play in the sand and water. She enjoyed it but after a bit would decide she was done. Then for several days, she didn't care to even go down to the beach and water. That was why I missed what happened and am telling this story second-hand.

Big Sis was down on the beach with everyone else (I couldn't get L'il Sis to leave the house). They see an aircraft and my sister tries to point it out to the 2 year old, "Look! A helicopter!" Big Sis, in all her 6-year old wisdom, practically rolls her eyes and with the "duh!" clear in her tone, informs them, "That's NOT a helicopter. That's an Osprey."

When she returned from the beach, my sister asked me about it and when I confirmed that, yes, the description sounded like an Osprey, she said, "She's definitely a military brat!"

Lactation, Navy-style

In 2000, I gave birth to my first child at Robert E. Bush Naval Hospital in the middle of the Mojave Desert. That pretty much sets the tone, doesn’t it? Because she was my first child, I was horrified that these insane people at the hospital were going to send this child home with me when I was obviously unqualified to care for her. Maybe that’s why I didn’t notice that all of my post-delivery care was provided by men. My nurses and corpsmen were all men. Don’t misunderstand me -- they were great and I received wonderful care. But it was a bit odd, and I didn’t notice. My mother pointed it out when she visited before my discharge. It might have been odd but it wasn’t terribly surprising. After all, it was a Naval hospital.

The nurse serving as the lactation consultant was also a man, a Navy Ensign. He was very encouraging and supportive and just a bit over the top. My husband says he was way over the top. My husband left for a short time to bring a friend to see me. While he was gone, this Ensign, the male lactation consultant, came in to see me for a consult because I was having some problems. Once my husband returned, the Ensign called him out to the hall to go over all the things he’d already discussed with me and to drive home the importance of my husband being supportive of the process. While that sounds pleasant enough, this was an Ensign on a mission and he was on the warpath to ensure my husband knew he should have been there to receive the lecture, I mean consultation, with me. Maybe he was having a bad day. My husband is a 6’8” Marine. I didn’t see this “lecture” as a good idea.

Our lactation issues were just beginning. The hospital also had another person whose job title was Breast Education Specialist/ Lactation Consultant. This person was, thankfully, a woman. After being home with our baby and continuing to have difficulty, I was referred to this consultant. My mother was still there to help out so she came with me. The three of us, Mom, the baby and me, sat in this woman’s office for an hour. We discussed what I had tried and what more I could do. I nursed the baby while the consultant observed and offered suggestions. Finally, we got ready to leave. As we were going out the door, Mom asked her, “Did you nurse all of your children?”

She smiled and answered very sweetly, “Oh, I don’t have any children.”

Gee, I think I could have read the books myself. Oh, wait, I think I did.

*In case it wasn't clear, this post was a memoir post. The child I wrote about is going to be 7 in less than 2 months. I was having a rough, deployment gremlin-filled day and wanted to post something that struck me as funny.

Greater Good

I wrote what follows last year, before our current deployment. I was inspired to make a few changes by a post on SpouseBuzz.

The Greater Good

My husband’s thoughts start turning to the next big thing he wants to do in his career. I’m not sure why he even bothers discussing it with me. Maybe he wants me to feel as though I have some control over what happens. The illusion is not working. The most I can hope to do is point out how difficult certain things could be in various locations (the ones I really, REALLY don’t want to go to) so that he lists it as his number two or three choice instead of as his first. Any of the places I suggest he try to go to are met with a blank look. Sure family life or liberty might be great there but how will that get him into the action, get him into a deployable unit? Duh, it won’t. But I’ll be happy. We’ve done the deployment thing and gotten the t-shirt but no family member wants to do it again.

There’s a scene in the Disney movie The Incredibles when Frozone is tearing through his apartment looking for his super-suit. His wife is preparing for a dinner party and is less than thrilled at his wanting to run off to save the world. Service members are a little like Frozone, grabbing their super-suits and leaving us behind for “the greater good.”

I was telling a non-military friend that my husband was itching to deploy again. It was killing him that his buddies and his Marines were over there and he wasn’t. She asked if he’s crazy. Well, yes, but I knew that before I married him. Clearly, he didn’t become a Marine to do a desk job. My husband likes to say that a smart Marine doesn’t whistle while he packs. It doesn’t mean that he wants to be separated from us, to miss chapters of our girls’ lives while living in challenging conditions. He just thinks there is something important that he needs to be doing, that he should be doing. When your service member is talking about needing to defend our country and our freedoms, how can you argue with that? A missed birthday or simply being home to take out the trash seems pretty unimportant next to that.

Despite my aggravation with the absences and how much my husband gives to the Marine Corps, I am proud of who my husband is and what he does. After all, his sense of duty and commitment to his country are part and parcel of who he is. These are some of the very reasons I fell in love with the man. The truth is, while a strong sense of duty and a desire to serve are admirable qualities, it is hard to be the one left behind for “the greater good.”

We were in San Francisco, on the first day of an overdue vacation, when 9/11 happened. We spent the morning in our hotel room at the Marine Memorial watching the news coverage while my husband made phone calls to his unit and I scrambled to change our travel plans to return home early. We later watched local coverage of people lining up to donate blood. They felt that was something immediate that they could do to help. My husband watched that and quietly commented that he was glad he was in a position to do more than just donate blood.

Damn super-suit.

anticipatory grief

It hasn't been an issue this deployment, but anticipatory grief was something I really struggled with the last time Hubs deployed to Iraq. Of course, I didn't know what it was or even that it had a name. I only knew what I was feeling and thinking about and wondering what was wrong with me that I kept thinking such morbid thoughts. I recently ran across an article on the subject by Kristin Henderson, the wife of a Navy chaplain. It was comforting to know that I wasn't alone and that it is a common experience for families left behind. Ms. Henderson has written another article about the growing disconnect between the military and civilians that is also worth reading.

update on deployment gremlins masquerading as contractors

I'm quickly losing the capacity to be civil.

When people tell you that they will call you no later than ___ with information, shouldn't they do so? Especially when that information involves when they will be making pertinent repairs to your home? I would think so. However, the contractor responsible for repairs to my house failed to call me Wednesday until after 5:30 p.m. (AFTER I'd left a voicemail for him asking for the information). At that time, he left a voicemail saying he wasn't sure if they'd be here Friday (today) or Monday but he would let me know. Guess what? No phone call. I left a terse message on his voicemail this morning. Then I spoke to the maintenance supervisor. Mr. Contractor just called acting offended because he called and left a voicemail for me after my voicemail to him on Wednesday. I interrupted him and pointed out that in his message he said he would call back to let me know whether it would be Friday or Monday. He paused, realized his mistake, and apologized. His tone quickly went from one of umbrage to one of retreat with his tail between his legs.

Now, much as I love being right, I'd love this problem being resolved even more!

When it rains...

A couple of months ago, we had a heavy rainstorm. The next morning, I found that our back wall was literally crumbling away. I contacted the maintenance department (we live in privatized base housing). Several people came by to look at it over the next several weeks (yes, I said "weeks" not "days"), including 2 different sub-contractors. After over 3 weeks of this, I was pretty fed up and physically went to the leasing office. While I was there, they were trying to reach me because the contractor was at my house to do the repairs. No one had bothered to tell me they were coming! So the repairs were made and completed just in time for in-laws to visit. They finished the work in the afternoon. My in-laws arrived at dinner-time. Let's not cut it too close, guys. This wouldn't have been a sticking point except the guest room is right across the hall from the door in the picture!

By the way, the first picture is the baseboard on the wall that needed replacing. See that huge hole in it? I was told they would fix that by filling it with caulk. I replied that wasn't going to do it for me and that the baseboard needed replacing. I said this to at least 2 men. I got another baseboard.

So contractors fixed our back wall near the back door (inside and out) as well as the roof a couple of weeks ago. Well, it rained yesterday. Hard. There was a waterfall where our backdoor is supposed to be. See the picture.


Then the windowsill was completely wet. I took pictures to document it all. Then I printed the pictures and took them down to the leasing office this morning. The ladies there were pretty aghast at the sight. Especially since they knew this was an ongoing problem. One of them remembered me from the last time I was in there about the wall. So, around noon, 2 of the ladies from the leasing office, the work order manager, the area maintenance supervisor, and the contractor all converged on our house to see and discuss.

Later, a maintenance man brought a dehumidifier that is now plugged in and draining into the downstairs shower. It is currently blocking the back door. Hopefully, it will only be here for a couple of days. He also fixed the powder room toilet (again). And looked at the cracked stair (again) and will be ordering a replacement. When that gets here, he'll replace the stair and caulk the others. Is caulk the new duct tape?!

The contractor is supposed to call me tomorrow to let me know when they will be back to do yet more work on the roof and back wall area (on the outside this time). If I don't get that call, I can assure you that I will be making some phone calls of my own! Hell hath no fury as a milspouse in an unsat house with small children and a deployed husband.

I joke that the house is falling down around my ears but sometimes I wonder if the joke isn't on me! But then, hubs is deployed, so, OF COURSE, all this is happening. See all the fun he's missing?

Coaching (warning: yet another potty story)

Starting July 1, L'il Sis and I got serious about this potty training business. What finally got her over her fear of release? Would you believe a Tinkerbell nightgown? Yes, that's all it took. And she hasn't looked back. Sort of.

L'il Sis has been wearing her big girl underpants (cotton training pants) during the day and doing a fabulous job. She hasn't had an accident during the day in ages. But. Well, let's say, "Houston, we have a problem." This one is more common than her fear of release problem, from what I hear. Girlfriend is constipated. I have plied her with apple juice and anything else that I think will provide her with fiber and kept her hydrated. Yet, she's only managed the deed once in a week's time. And that one time... I sounded like a labor coach. Seriously. There I was, cheering her on, encouraging her to "push, push it out...you can do it." It was just so wrong!

Devil Pup

Claire is a true Devil Pup. Lately, her rendition of "B-I-N-G-O" includes this refrain:

"E- N-C-O...E -N-C-O!"

(*an NCO is a non-commisioned officer such as a sergeant)

movie review

I watched Billy Connolly in "The Man Who Sued God" (2001) last night. It's an Aussie flick and was entertaining with an interesting premise. Connolly plays Steve Myers, a lawyer turned fisherman, whose boat is destroyed by lightning. When the insurance company refuses to pay up, citing the "act of God" clause, Myers decides to go after God, or rather his representatives on Earth, for the money. The churches and synagogues find themselves in an interesting position: either they admit liability and open the flood gates to untold claims or prove that God doesn't exist, making them frauds. At any rate, Myers isn't really attacking the religions; he's really after the shyster insurance companies. The film is witty and well worth the time spent watching it. That said, for those unfamiliar with Billy Connolly, supposedly Robin Williams once said that anyone can swear but only Billy Connolly can make it poetry. I'm not sure I'd go that far, but there you have it.

warning: rant ahead

Let me preface this by saying that July has been a difficult month for me (yes, I know it's not over yet!). There are several reasons for this. It's our anniversary month and we're not even on the same continent. We are 5 months into this deployment and this is the month I've really hit a wall. Maybe it's because I really want to get into homecoming mode but homecoming is so far away I can't even see it! Even R & R seems a long way away (and will be over much too fast). Maybe it is the anticipation of R & R and how hard it will be when he leaves again to finish the deployment. Maybe I'm just ready for school to start again. Whatever the reason, this is really not the month to try my patience with foolishness. Okay, my family and friends will probably say there's never a good time for that. I admit it; stupidity really gets on my nerves. So you've been forewarned. Proceed at your own risk.

At the end of the month, my sister and her family (including 4 kids, 3 of whom are not yet school-age); my mom and stepfather; my 2 kids and I are all going to a beach house. We're celebrating my mother's birthday and spending time together. As we are so spread out, we don't get the chance to all be together often. Keep this in mind.

A woman at my sister's church overheard her talking about our plans. I'll call her Ima (you can fill in the last name yourself). Later, she contacts my sister and gives her a sob story about losing her mother last year, who was apparently also her babysitter. Ima goes on to say that she and her family will also be at the same beach and that it will be their wedding anniversary. It would be such a blessing if my sister could watch her 2 kids for them so they could get a night to themselves. They haven't had a night out since her mother became sick. Oh, and she'd only expect my sister to watch her kids for 5 hours!

My sister tried a tactful approach by saying that she didn't think it would be a good idea as we'd be taking mom out for dinner one night. Not taking the hint, Ima said another night would work for them as well. The nerve! Ima said it would be such a blessing for her and her husband to get to spend an anniversary just as a couple. My sister pointed out that it was my anniversary month, too, and my husband is deployed to a war zone so I spent it without him. At any rate, Ima kept persisting despite my sister telling her no.

Who does this? I can't imagine intruding into another family's vacation in this way. Or another family's reunion. And the nerve of her, trying to guilt a virtual stranger into babysitting for her by telling her what a blessing it would be. My sister wisely refused to give me Ima's phone number. She knows I'd give Ima an earful of blessings.

linking

I caught this over at Andi's World. I love how articulate Andi is in addressing the core issue of being a family member of a deployed servicemember, regardless of personal politics. Some Soldier's Mom also addressed the same op-ed piece written by a Marine's mother and was equally eloquent.

Also a great post on perspective.

title change

I've been trying to come up with a new title for months now. Everything sounded so... well, not quite right. So, let's try "Dragonfly" and see how it fits.

Why did I pick this? The first year we were in Korea, my husband had the opportunity to go to Jeju-do. I couldn't go that year, but he brought back a beautiful dragonfly cell phone fob. It had a curved silver body and purple amythyst-like wings. Unfortunately, I lost it right before we moved from Korea. So I guess it reminds me of him. It also reminds me of our time in Korea and, by extension, my Korean heritage (I'm half). Plus, I just think they're pretty!

The fact that they seem to flit from place to place seems to fit, too. Lately, it seems we are always moving! Yes, even more than is usual for a military family.

Happy Anniversary

We picked Ruth 1:16-17 as our scripture reading for our wedding ceremony. At the time, I thought I knew what those words meant. I'm sure lots of military couples choose this passage. If they don't, they should! Truer words were never spoken: "Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God." Well, we've done that in spades!

In our wedding album, I incorporated a lot of quotes about love. Here are two of my favorites. I think they're pretty appropriate, too:

"Do not think that love, in order to genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired." ~Mother Teresa

"How lucky that we two should meet and make each other's lives complete." ~Unknown

the sound of freedom

Happy Independence Day, everyone!

I clicked over to Jenny ("The Sound of Freedom") and was inspired to write about our family's "sound of freedom."

When Big Sis was just nine months old, we went to our base's parade ground on the 4th of July because my husband's battery was in charge of the gun salute that year. Now, when I say "gun," I should explain that my husband is an artilleryman so these were howitzers. I had Big Sis strapped into her umbrella stroller and we were on the opposite side of the parade ground. Then, as they were readying to fire the guns, I put my hands over her ears in an attempt to protect them. Hey, these things are LOUD!

A round was fired every minute until the 3 guns completed the 21-gun salute. That's over 20 minutes of incredibly loud booms. And Big Sis was getting irritated. Oh, not by the noise of the guns. That didn't faze her a bit. No, it was Mom trying to cover her ears that bothered her. She fussed and pushed my hands away. She was a true Redleg Baby. Those loud, house-shaking booms weren't noise. That was the sound of freedom.

horse camp

Big Sis attended a 4-H Beginner Riders' Horse Camp this week. She had a great time and now she REALLY wants to take riding lessons.

Big Sis petting Booger while he's being cleaned up after riding lessons.

On the last day I wanted to take some pictures of Big Sis on a horse. L'il Sis wanted in on the act. And she had no fear. When I stopped her from climbing through a fence into a paddock, her response was, "But, Mo-om...." She was determined to pet Savannah. Look what a stretch it was for her to pet the mare's nose!

Then she insisted she wanted to ride the horse. The instructor was nice enough to let her have the first ride. Then, L'il Sis wanted more and couldn't understand why she wasn't getting another turn. Hm, maybe because you aren't even supposed to be here!

Then I managed to get some pictures of Big Sis on the thoroughbred. After all, that's what I was trying to do in the first place!

not exactly on a roll, but close

Things are still not going well but wanted to share the latest. L'il Sis wanted to wear a nightgown tonight. I reminded her that she could wear one when she used a potty like a big girl. Then I had the brainwave to show her the pretty Tinkerbell nightgown that Grammy had gotten her some time ago but that she hasn't been able to wear. A few minutes later, L'il Sis announced she wanted to pee in the potty and ran off to the bathroom. She sat there while I went about doing other things. Suddenly, a commotion from the bathroom. Both girls are talking. L'il Sis is saying she peed in the potty. Big Sis says she's not sure if it happened or not. By the time I get there, L'il Sis is standing up and looking in the potty and, sure enough, she'd done it! She flushed the toilet saying "Bye-bye, pee!" but then had to flush it again and say it again because the potty hadn't been emptied into it yet.

She got to wear the nightgown to bed tonight.

Potty, Schmotty

Well, it was a small victory but I'll take it.

This morning, I started using the timer and making L'il Sis sit on the potty at 30 minute intervals. She was fine with it. She didn't mind sitting on it as long as nothing happened. This is the same child who was informed a few days ago that if she peed in the potty she would get chocolate. Then, to be sure she understood, I asked her how she could get chocolate. Her first answer was "Reach for it." I told her, no, and again asked how she could get chocolate. This time she thought about it, her finger tapping against her lip, before answering, "A ladder!"

Anyway, L'il Sis was on the potty and after a bit she started fussing and wanting to get up. She wanted her pants back on. This is a sure sign that she is about to pee (in her pants). So I forced her to sit on the potty. I held her firmly and tried to get her to calm down, but wouldn't let her get up. She peed. In the potty. Wasn't too thrilled about it, though.

I praised her and told her how proud of her I was and what a big girl she is. She wanted to dump it in the big potty herself. So we did that. She was a little afraid of the flushing so I didn't push it and did that myself. I had her wash her hands and gave her M & M's. Again, I told her I was proud of her and wasn't she proud of herself? She said no.

I think I feel another headache coming on.

random quote

I ran across this quote recently. I'm not sure who said it. But I'm thinking about posting it, prominently, somewhere in my house:

"Children are paparazzi. They take your picture mentally when you don't want them to, when you don't look good, and show it back to you in their behaviour."

Fun in the sun...

We took the girls down to Topsail and went to the beach there. After playing in the sand for a little while, Big Sis started wading and I got her to put her swimsuit on. Then, she REALLY got wet. She didn't go in too far, but crouched down so the water could get her wet to her shoulders and even her hair was wet (at least the ends).

L'il Sis just wanted to play in the sand although she insisted on her bathing suit before we even left the car. At one point, she was rolling around in it. Yes, she was. She should be well exfoliated tonight. Despite all efforts from Grammy, Mommy and Big Sis, L'il Sis wanted nothing to do with the water. In fact, see the picture of her in a bucket? The bucket had water in it and that was about as close as she intended to get to the ocean.

After about an hour and a half, she finally got brave enough to let her toes get wet. She got knocked on her butt a few minutes later and then insisted on holding my hand. Less than half an hour later, there was no stopping her. She kept wandering away, not so much deeper as sideways from me. Getting braver and braver, nonetheless. Both had a great time. I got a bit of a sunburn.

Dancing Queen

My mother in law came down on Saturday afternoon so we could all attend a graduation dinner. L'il Sis had not napped AT ALL, despite best efforts. So I was a bit nervous as to just how quickly we would need to exit in case of a melt-down. But she did really well.

There was a DJ. And L'il Sis danced and danced. Girlfriend boogied until she just couldn't boogie anymore. Okay, it was more like until her mama said it was time to go. And... she was the ONLY one dancing. This 3 year old was the entertainment, the floor show. Everyone seemed to be getting a huge kick out of her. The fact that she had an appreciative audience only encouraged her. She made sure they appreciated her. At one point, she kept yelling, "Look at me! Look at me, peoples!" She had some moves, I tell you. She'd be dancing (with rhythm) and suddenly do a ballet move.

I'm not sure how long she danced but it had to be over 30 minutes straight. Then she took a short break to inhale a piece of cake (refueling?) before dancing some more. Big Sis wanted to dance but didn't want to do so in front of everyone. She tried to make Grammy come dance with her, but Grammy said nothing doing to that. But L'il Sis, not an inhibited or embarrassed bone in her body.

Oh, AND she kept pulling her dress up. Good thing she had matching bloomers on. And yes, I tried to get her to stop. So did Big Sis. For all the good it did. I guess sometimes the urge comes over you and you have to flip the dress up. She also did a lot of hair flipping.

Of course, I forgot to take either a camera or camcorder so have no record of it. Sorry.

recipes

My apologies to OTJ for being remiss about the recipe. To atone for that, I'm posting 2 veggie recipes that my kids both love:

Korean-style Spinach
1 bunch spinach
1/8 -- 1/4 tsp. salt
1 -- 1-1/2 tsp roasted, (kind of) crushed sesame seeds
1-- 1-1/2 tsp. sesame oil
1/4 -- 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1 -- 1-1/2 tsp. soy sauce
1 tsp. Korean beef broth powder (this is optional but really helps)
(*these amounts are to taste)

Clean spinach. Blanch spinach (Boil large amount of water. Place spinach in boiling water. Stir to get all spinach into water. Return to boil. Remove spinach and rinse in cold water.) Squeeze out as much water as possible. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. (The best way to do this is by hand.) Serve either at room temperature or cold. (Can be refrigerated and served later.)


Broccoli
Steam fresh broccoli. Drain. Drizzle with sesame oil and soy sauce.

Yeah, I know. Calling this one a "recipe" is kind of stretching it.

Popeye

Last night, I made Korean style spinach for dinner. This is something Big Sis has liked for a long time. L'il Sis usually won't try it. Finally, when the meal was almost over, she finally tried it. And liked it! At one point, she said, "Tasty!"

Also, lately, when I tell L'il Sis to do something, usually more than once, she responds with an impatient, "I yam! I yam!"

Smile.... It's catching

I'd been having a bit of a crap afternoon. Plus, it was rainy. The girls and I were coming back onto the base when I noticed that one of the Marine sentries seemed to be having a great day and wanted to share his enthusiasm. As he waved each vehicle onto the base, he gave them a warm, "Have a great day!" When our turn came, we had to wait a bit for a car that needed to cross our lane to turn around. Then the Marine waved us in, saluted, and shouted out, "Have a fan-TAS-tic day, ma'am!" My mood immediately lifted.


I commented that the Marine had a lot of enthusiasm. My 6 year old, in a supremely patient voice used to speak to the mentally challenged, "That's what Marines do...sometimes." But then, this is the same child who told my sister (as they were coming back onto base and my sister was looking for her ID), "Don't worry. I know them. They always let me in."

Barbies and Ponies and bears, oh my!

I'm not one of those people who have a problem with Barbies, in general. I played with them as a kid and, quite frankly, I think there are much worse things kids play with out there. That said, I do have a problem with them when they are part of a bigger clutter problem.

I was trying to organize and consolidate and, yes, cull toys today. We used to keep Barbies and clothes, etc. in a large clear plastic bin with a lid that slid under my oldest daughter's bed. Lately, we can't get the lid on it. (Okay, in more ways than one!) I think I counted 23 Barbies (and friends) in the pile in the picture above. TWENTY-THREE! That's crazy. That doesn't even take into account the Barbies that are still in their boxes on a closet shelf somewhere. We could have our own Barbie Expo! I managed to wrest a whopping 8 away from my daughter for the "get rid of" pile.

In Marine terms, I haven't even started to tackle the company of My Little Ponies, the battalion of stuffed animals, or the regiment of Little People.

Memes

I'm flattered. I was tagged for 2 memes in the past week. Okay, not so much excited that I was tagged to do these memes, but definitely flattered to find out someone actually reads this blog!

OTJ tagged me first so I'll do hers first. I'm to list 5 blogs I read that I haven't linked to before. Since I'm usually too lazy to link or even to add to my list of favorites, this ought to be easy. Sure. Okay, so here goes:

1. Oh, the Joys!, yes, the very blog who tagged me because I read her all the time despite never linking to her. She's absolutely hysterical but has a soft side, too. She's had me laughing so hard I thought I would wet my pants and she's also had me in tears. She is, simply put, a joy.

2. Queen of the Mayhem. What can I say? She, too, is hysterically funny, sometimes in ways that are just so wrong. I relate so strongly to some of her posts, I could have written them... just not as well. This is a girlfriend with grit!

3. Military Mommy. She's sweet and funny. I often pop over just to see what she's up to.

4. C'est la me. A California girl who moved to Paris with her French husband. No kids, just lots of cultural challenges. Her life experiences right now are so different from my life now (although I relate from my previous life before marriage and kids), I like to live vicariously!

5. I'm an Organizing Junkie, because I aspire to be organized someday. Maybe. If only I wasn't such a procrastinator.

The second meme was from Where My Treasures Are. This one is the "8 Things You May Not Know About Me."

1. I grew up an Army brat and ended up married to a Marine. How did THAT happen?! So not in the life plan!

2. My mother used to tell people (like complete strangers!) that I'd attended my university for 7 straight years. I kept telling her it didn't sound at all impressive because she kept forgetting to mention I got two degrees in those 7 years: a B.A. and a J.D.

3. I went to the Soviet Union the summer before my senior year of high school as a student ambassador with the People to People program. It was still the Soviet Union. The Berlin Wall was still up. I think it was the year of Tienanmen Square. I don't know how my mother let me do it! I'm not sure I could in her place. But I am forever grateful for the experience.

4. Sam and I only dated 2 months before we were engaged. We were married within 6 months of our first date. Hey, when you know, you know! Besides, he was going to his next duty station. It was either get married then or spend a year in a long distance relationship before the wedding. This was before I realized how much of our marriage would be spent apart! I've never regretted it.

5. I started getting grey hairs as an undergrad. But I only recently started coloring it with any sort of regularity.

6. We've been married 9 years and I never bothered to change my name. I just don't see the point really. It's not like he changed his. Considering how radically my life changed direction when we were married, I think keeping my name is a pretty small thing.

7. I'm half Korean but don't speak a lick. This wasn't fun when we lived in South Korea and people assumed I did. I'd get that "deer in the headlights" look and gesture toward my tall, white husband who did speak Korean. Go ahead, laugh.

8. I'm a first-born, my husband is a first-born, and my best friends are first-borns. I think there might be a law against that. My sister still doesn't understand how that works. We all need to be right, but about different things so it just works. Mostly.

Well, it wasn't the mother of all memes like over at OTJ, but I'm still glad it's over. Bet you are, too!

firecracker update

David at Lim Twins asked for pics of the infamous photo shoot I blogged about below. This is supermodel L'il Sis:

At least her personality really came through in some of the shots. After all the pain the photographer and I experienced trying to get her to just look toward the camera, I'm grateful for that!

backseat driver

At 3, Lil Sis is already a backseat driver. Today, I got a steady stream of "Go! I want you to go!" while we ran errands, never mind red lights or those pesky cars in front of me. Then, as we were trying to get out of a parking lot, a car turning into the lot made the widest turn I've seen in a long time. Although he had the stop sign, not me, I stopped well away from the intersection to accommodate this turn. Showing great restraint, I just commented, "Dude! How much room do you need?"

From the peanut gallery behind me, Lil Sis admonished, "Stop talking! That's enough talking!" Well, excuse me!

Firecracker, indeed

This morning the girls and I had an appointment to have portraits taken. It seemed like a good idea at some point. I can’t remember when.

We decided that we would coordinate our outfits by wearing red, white, and/or blue. The outfits were picked out the night before and everyone was happy. This morning, I left the girls in their PJs while I got ready. Then, 30 minutes before we needed to leave, the TV was turned off and the girls herded upstairs for teeth-brushing and dressing. The eldest had issues with her shoes (not especially surprising but still frustrating for me). Then the youngest decided she had to get her dress off...yesterday. Fortunately, I had a back-up outfit for her. But maybe I was tempting fate, since her t-shirt read , “Lil Firecracker.”

We managed to get the pictures of all 3 of us first. Then I wanted shots of the sisters. Well, that sort of happened. Then, it was time for L'il Sis to have her close-up. She ran around, turned her back to the photographer, hammed it up, bared her teeth and grimaced when told to smile, ran some more laps. Even the promise of ice cream afterward if she just cooperated wasn’t enough. Toward the end, she actually said, "I. am. not. happy."

I think the photographer muttered, "We aren't, either!"

We did manage to get a few good shots but I think I lost years off my life that I will never get back.

The sad part is that EVERY time I take the girls to get portraits taken, I swear that it is the LAST time I will do so by myself. Clearly, it is a lesson I still haven’t learned. In my defense, the last time I did this was almost 3 years ago, so the memory wasn’t exactly fresh in my mind.

Thank you, Marines!

My daughter's school had an assembly today to thank their Marine volunteers who do so much at their school. Just their presence at the school, in uniform on a daily basis, is comforting to many kids who have a deployed parent. Some of the classes did little poems or songs. Big Sis' group (4 classes together) put on what can only be termed a production! A group of kids in cammies marched in, calling a cadence, followed by 2 kids (in cammies) in one of those toy battery operated jeeps with some tubes mounted to the back. The whole thing was painted camouflage. When they got to the stage, the other kids were all dressed in red, white & blue, waving flags and then they sang their song "The Great Defenders," complete with choreography. It was so cute!





*The Marines who volunteer at the school are often attending a school here or waiting to attend it. Some are recuperating Wounded Warriors.

If you give a mom a muffin...

If you give a mom a muffin
She'll want a cup of coffee to go with it
She'll pour herself some.
Her three-year-old will spill the coffee
She'll wipe it up
Wiping the floor, she'll find dirty socks
She'll remember she has to do laundry
When she puts the laundry in the washer
She'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer
Bumping into the freezer will remind her
she has to plan for supper
She will get out a pound of hamburger
She'll look for her cookbook
(101 Things To Do With a Pound of Hamburger)
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail
She'll see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow
She will look for her checkbook
The checkbook is in her purse
that is being dumped out be her two-year-old
She'll smell something funny
She'll change the two-year-old's diaper
While she is changing the diaper, the phone will ring
Her five-year-old will answer and hang up
She'll remember she wants to phone a friend for coffee
Thinking of coffee will remind her
that she was going to have a cup
And chances are . . . If she has a cup of coffee
Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it


(A friend emailed this to me and I had to share!)

Tough Girl

Our newly minted 3 year old has a new catch phrase. I am really not sure where she got it but would like to know because it is cute and disturbing at the same time. Grinning like a maniac while she (sort of) channeled Pacino, she chased her sister around the house saying, "You want a piece of meat?!"

update: Now it is: "Want a piece of meat? Yeah! Want a piece of meat? Yeah!" (repeat on a loop indefinitely)

Military Spouse Appreciation and Mother's Day

Today is Military Spouse Appreciation Day and Sunday is Mother's Day. I hope you all had/have great days. I got my Mother's Day present today. With assistance from my sister, my husband found someone who cleans houses and contacted her (from Iraq!) to arrange to have my house cleaned! How fabulous is that? He gets major brownie points for that!

my so-called celebrity look-alikes

I'm not convinced...

Just let it go...

We've been having a strange problem here in the land of "Now what?" Our youngest just turned 3. She doesn't particularly want to be a big girl or learn to use a potty. No, that's not the strange part. She has some serious bladder control. Just last month, she amazed both me and my friend that we were staying with when she held it for over 9 hours. But this hoarding of her urine has led to another nasty problem. It caused a UTI over the weekend. She was only going once or twice in each 24-hour period. So now she is REALLY afraid to just "let it go." The only bright side is that she seems to enjoy taking her antibiotics (knock on wood). But seriously, if anyone out there has any suggestions on getting her to drink more and "let go" more often, I'm all ears!

From the mouths of babes...

Big Sis brought home her journal from school the other day. Big Sis is a first-grader. There were some cute things in it so will share some excerpts:

• The beginning had a lot about her friend Elizabeth (in Korea). Then, there was a picture of an airplane with this under it: "I was sad win i lifeed her all alone with tia."

• Under a picture of a girl writing with a sad face: "Scool is pretty boring I say becase it's alway's write write writeing time I hate it very much I just hate it."

• The very next page, picture of playground: "We have fun at School a lot scool is cool"

• "I played with my dad and we played race my dad won."

• "I Love my dad. becase he is my goodest dad ever in the whole wied wourld"
  
• My dad Helps me when I am hert I am glad"

• "My daddy is strong and is not scard of enything one timeI came in my mom and DaDs room (?) do that. I said ok and ran away."

• "My DaD is on deplowment I am sad he misses me alot I hope he comes back soon."

Happy Birthday!

It's hard to believe the "baby" is now 3 years old. Of course, her refusal to cooperate in potty training doesn't help. L'il Sis had a small party with family and friends on Saturday. She had the "yellow" birthday (cake) that she wanted. When I brought it out, she started reaching for a plate. When I told her we had to sing to her first, she sang to herself: "Happy Birthday to Me..." Then she started to blow out the candles as I lit them. She really wanted her cake!

Like a weed

With her 3rd birthday coming up next week, L'il Sis had a check-up today. Since her last exam in early Feb., this child has grown 1-1/4 inches! Good grief! She's just over 3'3" now. I really am going to be the shrimp of the family and it's going to happen a lot sooner than I'll be ready.

Hero

Last week, the girls and I drove to Virginia to visit old friends during Spring Break. When we got tired of the radio, we switched to CDs. One of our favorites lately has been the Shrek 2 soundtrack. As we listened to Jennifer Saunders' version of "Holding Out for a Hero," my 6 year old suddenly said, "They're singing about Daddy." She went on to add, "The song. They're describing Daddy. He's strong." A little later, "He's fast, too." And he's definitely our hero.


Here are the lyrics:

• Where have all the good men gone/And where are all the gods?
• Where's the street-wise Hercules/To fight the rising odds?
• Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
• Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need
• (Chorus)I need a hero/I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night/He's gotta be strong/And he's gotta be fast/And he's gotta be fresh from the fight/I need a hero/I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light/He's gotta be sure/And it's gotta be soon/And he's gotta be larger than life(larger than life)
• Somewhere after midnight/In my wildest fantasy
• Somewhere just beyond my reach/There's someone reaching back for me
• Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat/It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet
• Up where the mountains meet the heavens above/Out where the lightning splits the sea
• I could swear that there's someone somewhere/Watching me
• Through the wind and the chill and the rain/And the storm and the flood
• I can feel his approach/Like the fire in my blood(like a fire in my blood x4)
• hero
• I need a hero/I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light/and he's gotta be sure
• And it's gotta be soon/And he's gotta be larger than life
• hero/oh I need a hero/I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night
• He's gotta be strong/And he's gotta be fast/And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
• I need a hero

[Thanks to www.stlyrics.com for the lyrics!]

Easter

L'il Sis missed out on Easter egg decorating when she fell asleep coming home from dinner on Saturday night. But her sister and cousins made enough mess for themselves and her. (Check out Big Sis's hands) My sister had provided an egg coloring kit that billed itself as "less mess." Au contraire, mon frere! We might have been better off just dipping the kids in vats of dye and getting it over with.

Enjoying Easter morning with the cousins.

So, what's in your basket/bucket/whatever?

It was so cold that the kids originally had their egg hunt in the living room. Later in the afternoon, the older kids hid eggs for the younger ones in the front yard. Here, Big Sis is "helping" L'il Sis find eggs. Since she hid them, she knew just where L'il Sis should look! Actually, she was really sweet and it was one of those moments when you look at them and think, "Now why can't you be this nice to each other ALL the time?" Yes, I know, major wishful thinking on my part. Hey, a mom can dream!

What a difference a few months make

The girls with our neighbor's dog: The amazing thing about this picture is that neither child would have been this close to a dog (willingly) before we left Korea just a few months ago. Our older daughter has taken her new-found comfort level with dogs to frightening new heights. She managed to trap a stray dog in a neighbor's garage last weekend. It was skittish and eventually would only follow her. We had several lectures afterward, including one by email from Dad, about not approaching or touching strange dogs. Every word seemed to go in one ear and out the other. Maybe if I keep lecturing, she will absorb the message eventually? While we don't want her to be afraid of dogs, we also don't want her approaching every dog she sees as not all dogs are friendly. Fortunately, her little sister (usually, the daredevil in the family) still has a healthy dose of caution in this area. Which is so ironic considering their personalities.